When we develop feelings for someone, it can be hard to let go when things don’t work out. At some point, though, you’re going to come to the conclusion that he clearly doesn’t care about you and you’re going to have to find a way to stop wasting any more of your time on him. It’s not easy, but you can do it! If there’s a guy you care about but you know he doesn’t feel the same way, here’s some tried-and-true strategies for detaching yourself and moving on.
- Cut off all contact. If you’re really having a hard time dealing with a man who doesn’t care about you but keeps showing up in your life when it’s convenient for him, you need to stop having contact with him. If you stay in contact, he is just going to keep hurting you. Delete his phone number. Remove him from your social media accounts. Stop turning to him when you are looking for attention because he’s not going to give you what you want.
- Spend time with friends. Get busy in your life for a while. Make plans with friends. Go to events, parties, dinners, or anywhere else that will keep your mind occupied. When you’re with your friends, focus on them. Talk about what’s going on in their lives and get excited about what they’re excited about.
- Spend time with yourself. I’m not talking about sitting around on the couch feeling sorry for yourself kind of time. Start by accepting your feelings. Then spend time doing the things you love. Take up old hobbies or discover new ones. Spend time reflecting on your relationships and what you’re really looking for. Get to know yourself better. Do things that soothe you. Keeping busy with friends is good but at some point, you need to slow down and figure out why you fell for him and how to not fall for a guy that won’t care about you again in the future.
- Know that it’s not you, it’s him. Most of the time when a guy can’t bring himself to care about someone – even if he’s not ready for a relationship – it’s because he is dealing with issues of his own. Maybe he was hurt by someone in the past. Maybe he’s too focused on his career. There could be many reasons, but they’re his reasons. It’s important to remember that the only one you can control is yourself. Another person’s issues are not yours.
- Get more involved at work. Work is a great way to get over a guy that doesn’t care about you. You have to work anyway, so why not put more effort into it. If there’s a promotion you’ve been thinking of going for, this is a great time to go for it. Perhaps there is a team project you could get involved in. If you love your job, make it a priority for a while.
- Invest in your education. Take a course in the evenings that can help you move forward in your career or give you the opportunity to train for a new position. Even if the course is not directly related to your job, you can learn for pure pleasure. Learn to take better photographs or how to change the oil on your car. Personal development doesn’t have to be related to your job.
- Give yourself time to heal. Many people will tell you that the best way to get over a guy is to find someone new. You need time to heal, though. Give yourself the time to get over him before you get involved with anyone else. Starting a new relationship when you are still getting over another person is not fair to you and it isn’t fair to the next person you start dating.
- Think about what you want from a relationship in the future. Before you start seeing anyone else, figure out what it is that you’re looking for. Chances are, this guy that didn’t care about you probably didn’t have these qualities, anyway. Stop letting things slide. Build a vision of the man that you want to be in your life. Stop seeing people that don’t meet that vision.
Ultimately, you need to remember that not everyone you care about is going to care about you back. Not the same way you do, anyway. Most relationships are a little one-sided when it comes to feelings. If he cares for you, you will know about it. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to let someone walk all over you because you care about them. Care about yourself and your well-being more than you care about others. In the end, this will attract the right man to you.