How To Tell When Your Boyfriend Needs Alone Time, According To A Guy

Admittedly, guys can be hard to read. We sometimes find it hard to communicate exactly what’s on our minds, which is why you might not know when we’re feeling a little claustrophobic and need some space. If any of these things are happening, your boyfriend probably needs some time alone.

  1. He’s always in a bad mood. Typically, moods come and go, but if your boyfriend seems to be in a bad mood nonstop, you should probably give him space. Perpetual moodiness isn’t a cry for help, it means he needs you to back off for a bit. It’s possible that your mere presence is triggering the bad mood. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you, but whatever is wrong, he needs to work it out on his own.
  2. He gets too personal during arguments. When people want their space, they’ll push away those close to them. It may not be on purpose, but if a guy wants you to back off, he may let something mean and a little personal slip during an argument. Rest assured, he probably didn’t mean it—he just wants to give you a reason to go away for a little bit.
  3. His friends become more of a priority. If a guy feels smothered by you or your relationship, he’ll look to his friends for refuge. It could be that you’ve been a little too clingy lately or it could be that he feels pressure to make the relationship work. Either way, he just needs some time on his own with his friends to blow off some steam and get himself back to normal.
  4. You’re becoming too needy. To be fair, it’s not always easy for you ladies to notice that you’re being too needy. However, if you start to feel like you’ve attached yourself to your boyfriend lately, try taking a step back if you can. Just because we want you to want us doesn’t mean we want you to need us 24/7. Sometimes we need alone time so we can remember what it feels like to miss you.
  5. He cancels plans at the last minute. Unless he’s had a long week at work or a sudden family emergency, canceling plans at the last minute without a good reason is a surefire sign that he needs some space. It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to break up with you. Instead, it could just mean that he isn’t feeling it at that moment and isn’t as excited to see you as you want him to be.
  6. He turns down one-on-one time. If he says no to a date of just the two of you, it’s another indicator that he wants to take a step back and get some space. You may interpret it as him cooling on the relationship, but it’s also possible he just needs to work through something on his own. If you want to see him, try planning something as part of a group; he’ll be more likely to go along because it’ll be easier to hide in a crowd.
  7. He disregards your feelings. Much like getting too personal in a fight, this may be a way for his subconscious to push you away so he can have the space he needs. If a guy cares about you, he’ll make an effort not to hurt your feelings or be brutally honest with you. But if we guys are desperate for alone time, we can’t always control the things we say.
  8. He’s less excited to have sex. It’ll take a lot for a guy to turn down sex, but if your boyfriend seems less excited about sleeping with you, it’s a strong indicator that you need to give him some space. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship. Rather, he may be feeling a little overwhelmed and while sex is nice, it doesn’t help him get the alone time he really wants.
  9. You’re always waiting for him to text you back. This sign should be a lot less subtle. If a guy is looking for some alone time, he’s definitely not answering that text back right away. You may get a little agitated, which is fair. But if you respect the fact that he’s just looking for a little more space, you’ll be OK with having to wait a little bit for him to get back to you.
  10. He makes plans without telling you. Obviously, these plans don’t involve you. That’s a key indicator that a guy wants some alone time. You should do your best not to take this too personally. Rest assured, we do enjoy spending time with you, but we don’t think you need to come along for everything we do.
  11. He tells you little white lies. These lies will probably relate to where he was without you. Yes, if he lies about this stuff, it could be a sign that he’s cheating on you. But if you don’t jump to conclusions and take a step back, you may realize that he’s just wanting some alone time without you around. If a guy is desperate enough for something, there’s a good chance he’ll lie. Even some of the good guys are like this. Instead of assuming the worst, consider the fact that he just needs a little space from your relationship.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.