You might think he wants to be with you, but what if he’s just dating you because it’s super-convenient right now and he has nothing better going on in his life? Here are 10 signs that he’s just using you to fill the gap between relationships and will ditch you as soon as something better comes along.
- He’s got nothing to do. You can tell if he’s just calling you up because he’s bored because he’ll never really talk about his life. He just wants you to keep him entertained because he’s got nothing else going on. He’ll send you those irritating “you up?” messages. Ugh.
- He’s lonely. If he’s lonely, he might’ve told you that he’s really down right now. Or, he might’ve shown you signs that he’s lonely and that’s why he’s reaching out. The classic example of this is the ex who dumped you but now doesn’t have anyone else to date so he’s coming back to you for attention.
- He’s going through a rough patch. Maybe he’s in an addiction facility and he needs someone to support him. Maybe he’s lost his job and he wants to be able to vent to someone. Ugh. While you want to be there for your partner, you certainly don’t want to feel like you’re just there to be the person they talk at and then dump when they’ve come out of their difficult time.
- He’s isolated. Have you ever heard from a guy who you used to date and he talks about how he’s the unluckiest person in the world? Yup, it’s a pity party for one! His best friend stole his girlfriend, his boss fired him unfairly, blah blah blah. Everyone is out to get him. If he’s got no one in his life, that’s a warning sign that you’re just there to help him feel needed again.
- He’s been dumped. If you’ve started chatting to someone on a dating app and he’s spilled the beans that he’s recently been dumped, that’s a red flag. He might be so desperate to be loved that he’s clinging onto you like a drowning man.
- He’s keen to change his life. He wants to be healthier and he says he loves that you’re all about clean living. He used to surround himself with toxic people, but now he wants to be more positive. If he seems to have lots of great goals to become better, that’s wonderful but make sure that he’s not just latching onto you because he thinks you’ll help him jump into a new chapter of his life.
- He doesn’t share his feelings. You’re there for him and he seems to want to talk to you all the time. The problem is, he never actually shares his feelings for you. Clearly, you’re just satisfying one or two of his needs and he has no need to make you an actual part of his life.
- It’s all about him. If he’s the one who seems to take the lead the most by determining how and when you see each other, for instance, this could point to him being selfish. He only wants you around at certain times, not all the time. You’re just there when it’s convenient for him.
- He’s mysterious. Ah, the mysterious guy… Or maybe he’s not mysterious at all, he’s just keeping himself and his life closed off from you because he doesn’t want to invest in a relationship with you. If it feels like you’re always giving more of yourself to him than he gives to you, the reason could be that you’re not someone he intends to keep around for long.
- He blows hot and cold. One minute he’s really into chatting to you and spending time with you. It makes you feel that he’s keen on having something real with you. Then the next minute, he’s disappearing or distant on dates. What gives? This is the classic behavior of a guy who’s only keeping you around to fill a gap. When things are better and his social card is fuller, he disappears on you. Then he returns when he feels lonely, bored, or horny. What a jerk. Stop wasting all your time on him.
