How To Tell When Guys Are Being Sincere, According To A Guy

I’m not a woman, but I have to imagine one of the hardest parts of dating from your perspective is determining whether or not a guy is genuine. But if you look close enough, there are subtle ways that we show you that we’re sincere, and knowing what to look for can hopefully help you decipher between the good guys and the jerks.

  1. We’re just a little nervous around you. If we genuinely like you, odds are we’re going to be a little nervous around you, at least in the beginning. This could lead to us saying something stupid that we’re bound to regret later, but please don’t hold that against us. If we come off a little nervous, it probably means we’re trying to show you that we’re sincere.
  2. We make you a priority. Most guys are going to do what they do without interruption, so if we pass on something you know we like in favor of doing something for you, that’s a good sign that we’re being sincere. Even if you need to point us in the right direction, if we choose you over hanging out with our friends or give up something we love to make you happy, it’s a good sign that we’re for real.
  3. We communicate openly. As mentioned, we men tend to be a little closed-off and don’t always say exactly what we mean. However, if you sense that we’re taking down our walls and speaking our truth to you, that’s a good sign that we’re trying to be sincere. It’s in our nature to use ambiguous language that may have hidden meaning, so if we put all that away and start being straight with you, it usually means we’re genuinely into you.
  4. We let you take control. Yes, most men can be categorized as control freaks. I can’t explain it, that’s just the way it is. So, when we’re willing to cede you some control over the relationship, it means we’re sincere about our feelings toward you. If we think we’re with the right girl, we stop being obsessed with getting our way and just want to be with you.
  5. We remember things you tell us. This is probably one of the best ways to tell a man is being sincere and not just looking out for himself. I’ll be honest, listening is tough for us. It’s nothing personal, it just takes a lot of effort to listen, absorb information, and store that information in our heads amidst everything else in our lives. But when we show you that we’ve listened and remembered the things you told us, we’re either very accomplished manipulators or genuinely interested in you—usually the latter, thankfully.
  6. We tell you what we want out of the relationship. Talking about a relationship is not our cup of tea, but if a guy is willing to tell you what he’s looking for in a relationship, he’s the real deal. To be fair, this can be easy to fake, but if we go into detail about what we want from this relationship long-term and you’re a part of that vision, it’s usually sincere.
  7. We show you affection. The key here is the kind of affection we show you. Any guy can be affectionate in a sleazy way by grabbing your butt or rubbing up against you, but if we’re willing to take you in our arms in a way that’s far more comforting for you than it is for us, we’re seriously into you. Remember, there’s a difference between touching and showing affection, and if you can tell the difference, you’ll know if we men are being sincere or not.
  8. We want you to meet our friends and family. Meeting someone’s family—and to a certain extent, meeting their friends—is a big step in a relationship. If a guy is eager (but not too eager) to introduce you to his friends and family, there’s a great chance that he’s sincere in his feelings for you. Most of us aren’t going to go through that trouble if we don’t think things are going to last that long, so if we’re putting off introducing you to our family, it’s not a good sign. If we’re willing to do it, no questions asked, it means we’re serious about this relationship.
  9. We show concern for your friends and family. Along those same lines, if we show genuine concern for your sick aunt or your friend who’s going through a rough time, it’s a good sign that we’re invested in you. If we say the right thing but just kind of brush it off, we don’t really care. But if we show genuine concern for the well-being of your close friends and family, it means we also care for you as well.
  10. We go out of our way to show you we’re sincere. You can tell everything you need to know about a guy based on how much we’re willing to inconvenience ourselves for you. If we go out of our way to spend a little time with you, do you a small favor, or perform an act we know will make you happy, you shouldn’t doubt our sincerity. Remember, it’s tough for us to be forthright in telling you that you matter to us, so you need to know when our actions are speaking louder than words.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.