How To Tell He’s A Loser Before Going On A First Date

How To Tell He’s A Loser Before Going On A First Date ©iStock/Georgijevic

A first date is usually when you figure out if a guy is your match or not but honestly, you can tell way before then. Here are some signs to look out for so you can avoid wasting your time with Mr. Wrong:

  1. His texts leave you hanging. When chatting to the guy you ‘met’ online, you find yourself waiting around a lot for him to answer your texts. If this is happening so much before you’ve even met him in real life, chances are high he’ll carry on doing it once you start dating. This sucks ’cause you have better things to do with your time than wait around for a guy to reply or seems uncertain about you.
  2. He flirts way too much. Some flirting is obviously a good thing — there’s no point in going on a date with someone if there’s no attraction — but if he’s too charming, it comes across as sleazy. An example is if all he can do is compliment the pics he saw of you on social media and how sexy you are. Yeah, but what about your brain, hmm?
  3. His social media is full of half-naked women. When checking out his social media (come on, admit you do it before a first date), you find loads of pics of bikini-clad women. Or, his Facebook friend list is teeming with connections that don’t look real — the profiles look like spam accounts that make use of gorgeous, sex-like images of women. Whether or not they’re real is not the point, it’s that he’s dodgy enough to want to have that stuff on his profile for all to see.
  4. He can’t commit to a date. After chatting for awhile with a guy you met online or were set up with by friends, you both decide to take things to the real life setting of your local coffee shop. The problem? He keeps changing the time or day. This is understandable to a point if he’s a doctor or in some other frazzled profession, but if it seems like he’s all over the place or has lame excuses for cancelling dates, like “Totes forgot about our date. Such bad hangover,” he’s not serious and therefore not worth your time.
  5. He suggests a group date. Double dates and bringing your friends along for a date can be fun, but not if it’s the first date. If a guy suggests that you meet him and his best friends, it feels quite high school. What, is he afraid of being alone with a woman? Does he need other people present so keep the conversation going? Ugh, can’t he be a grown man about things?
  6. He drops hints of not wanting a relationship. During a text convo, you ask him how long he’s been single and he says it’s been years ’cause he really loves doing his own thing. Okay, then why does he want to go on a date? Or is he just looking for a fling? Other signs that he’s not keen on something serious include if he talks about previous hook-ups a lot or hasn’t been in a long-term relationship. It’s a must to ask him what he’s looking for upfront before a first date when the conversation naturally heads to those subjects so you don’t waste your time.
  7. He only texts late at night. Those strange messages that come through after midnight, like, “Hey, you up?” are okay once in a while, as long as he’s no stranger to texting you lots during the day. But if he’s always sending late-night texts, he’s clearly just looking for a bit of fun. It’s not worth going on a first date with someone who is a booty-call texter because he’s not really showing any genuine interest in you.
  8. He sounds weird. Repeat after me: you have to have a phone conversation with a guy before going on a first date with him. You can tell so much about him by hearing his voice and you want to know that he has a sexy voice, too. If he’s got a voice that turns you off or you can detect an arrogant or sarcastic tone in it, don’t go on a date with him.
  9. He’s already treating you like a friend. You want to get all the juicy bits about his life and history, but you also don’t want to know too much or turn into his confidante because that totally kills the mystery and romantic vibe. If you’ve been chatting for a few weeks and he’s calling you to dump his problems on you, it’s not going to be a first date, it’s going to be meeting up with a friend. Welcome to the friend zone.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.