In this day and age, it’s easier than ever to maintain a relationship so someone who never texts you back or regularly flakes on plans might actually not be as invested in you as you may hope, whether it’s a friend or a romantic interest. Here are 10 signs that they don’t give a damn about you.
- They seem to forget big occasions. Nobody is too busy to forget a birthday, but they are. Or, maybe they totally forgot about that big get-together you’ve been planning for months. If you’re the center of attention, they seem to lose a little bit of interest. That’s a huge red flag that they don’t give a crap about you. If they did, they’d make sure to shine some light on you when it’s deserved.
- You’ve noticed they’re never the first to initiate conversation. Sure, they respond to you when you message them but they’re never the one to reach out first. They barely ask you about your day or if there’s anything new happening in their life. Tracking texts can feel a little degrading at first, but it’s a huge indicator that you may need to drop this relationship before it sours completely. Remember, they don’t text first because they don’t actually care.
- When they do talk to you, it’s all about them. Every time they want to vent, they turn to you. When you try to give them advice on how to solve the issue, they never seem to take it. In their eyes, you’re just a person to dump problems on. They like the fact that you care but you probably wouldn’t get the same warm response from them in return. In fact, in the times you’ve vented to them, the most you’ve gotten out of it is, “That sucks.”
- They never seem to compliment you. Friendships shouldn’t rely on compliments, but they’re nice on occasion. And romantic relationships flourish with compliments as well. Face it, you dress up for special occasions and it’s a real boost to hear that your hard work paid off. If you’ve never heard a “you look really nice” or “those shoes are amazing,” at least once, consider it a sign that they don’t actually give a crap about you.
- If you get a new friend/potential romantic suitor, suddenly their interest in you reignites. You hold a place in their heart for sure, but it’s probably as the person they depend on when they need something done. If they get wind that you’ve made a new friend or might enter a new relationship, suddenly they’ll give you a little more time. Why? Because they know that if this new person actually showed an interest in you, your time will no longer be theirs.
- Plans never actually solidify. It’s always “we should grab coffee sometime!” and not “let’s get coffee this Saturday.” Plans, if made, are always loose. That means there’s a ton of leeway to get out of them if something goes wrong. Someone who actually cares about you will prioritize a catch-up with you, especially if it’s overdue.
- If they do nail down plans, they’re easily broken. Your boyfriend or friend has canceled on you more times than you can count simply because something more exciting came up. And for some reason, you’ve made excuses for them. If you’ve never felt like the priority, it’s time for you to get the hint and stop trying to save something that’s simply not worth it.
- They never ask about your career. Some careers aren’t necessarily interesting, but for most of us, work is what occupies most of our time. And if you’re not employed just yet, surely you have some fun stories about school and the classes you’re taking. Real friends are genuinely interested in how you spend your day and what you’re learning about. If they never ask about it (and listen to what you have to say), it’s because they simply don’t give a crap.
- Their gifts to you lack a personal touch. Sure, you exchange for the holidays, but you never really expect to get anything you actually need. Instead, it’s probably a candle or bubble bath. There’s nothing wrong with that stuff, but they’re the perfect gift that says “I don’t know you well.” If you formed a legitimate connection with them, they’d at least spring for a present that may have been part of an inside joke, or something you openly stated you wanted.
- You’re not in any of their Instagram photos. You can tell they have an active social life based on Instagram, but not only are you not in their photos, you were never invited in the first place. Even if there was an event you were at, your supposed bestie chooses a selfie over any which actually show your face—or even worse, a group shot with other friends that you happened to miss. Move on and find someone who looks forward to moments you spend together.
