How To Tell If He’s Worth Your Time Or A Total Waste Of It

You’ve done your share of casual dating and what you want more than anything now is a relationship that’s built to last. But how do you know if the new guy you’re seeing is worth your time or a total waste of it? Pay attention to these things.

  1. His personality Are you guys even compatible? Do you have good chat? Do you make each other laugh? Do you finish each other’s sentences? If your answer to all these questions is yes, then it sounds like you’ve got something pretty special going on. However, if you have two out of three—or even one out of three—ask yourself whether you can deal with what’s missing. If not, don’t be afraid to kick him to the curb pronto. 
  2. The spark Likewise, you need to have some kind of connection or “spark” if anything is going to progress romantically. I mean, what’s the point in investing feelings into something that’s just OK or totally mediocre? If the spark isn’t on fire and making you feel like you’re drowning in the flames, you need to ask yourself if you’re just settling for something less than amazing. If so, move on. You deserve something amazing.
  3. His conversational skills Can you guys have good conversations? Do you spend hours on the phone? Do you feel like you’re getting closer purely through your words? If the answer to any of these questions is no, then this is undeniably a red flag. I mean, when you’re both old and gray and your looks have faded, you need to rely on different kinds of intimacy—and not just the physical kind—for your relationship to survive and thrive.
  4. His ability/willingness to show affection Speaking of being physical, you should fancy each other the most in the beginning. After all, the relationship is new and exciting and you haven’t learned of any nasty habits yet like him picking his nose. If he’s not a touchy-feely person and you love affection or you’re just not gelling in the bedroom department, it might be time to say goodbye. Sure, physical contact isn’t everything, but it is an important factor in picking someone for your next big relationship. If you haven’t slept together yet, ask yourself why? Are you both putting it off because you’re unsure about the relationship or does the physical connection suck?
  5. His digital communication Does he have great banter when you’re together but then can’t string a sentence together over text? Worse, does he have nothing to say to you when you’re not together? If so, these are warning signs that could potentially break a relationship as time passes by. Don’t just ignore them.
  6. His general level of effort Similarly, is he bending over backward trying to make plans to see you or is he really chill to the point where you don’t ever know where you stand? Does he plan romantic dates or let you make all of the arrangements? If a guy likes you, he makes it pretty obvious through his actions. I mean, there’s a reason that the saying “actions speak louder than words” is a famous one. If he’s not acting like you’re the entree instead of one of the appetizer and being clear with his feelings for you, there’s usually a reason why. Run and never look back.
  7. The company he keeps You can tell a lot about a person just by the people who they surround themselves with. If you’ve met his friends and family members and you don’t like them or they don’t like you, then this isn’t a good sign for the future. In fact, you probably have a world of arguments heading your way about the time you have to spend with them and the time that he will spend with them, so avoid yourself the aggravation and dump him already.
  8. The stage of life he’s in A big destroyer of relationships all boils down to bad timing. Is he younger than you and all he cares about is partying with his single friends? Or is he older and ready to settle down even though you’re nowhere near ready? Establish your ambitions and make sure your goals align with your potential beau’s at the very start of your relationship before sh*t gets real. The last thing you want to do is find out that you’re on totally different pages when you’ve already fallen in love.
  9. The overall package Ultimately, a relationship is worth your time if everything seems to be plain sailing and there are no alarm bells going off in your head. For best results, follow your heart with this guy you’re seeing, for sure, but also be sure to use your head.
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at