How To Ask A Guy To Marry You

You definitely don’t have to wait for your boyfriend to give you a ring if you’re ready for him to be your husband. If you love the idea of taking matters into your own hands, here are 10 things to bear in mind when preparing to ask a guy to marry you.

  1. Propose with something to give. You might want to present him with a ring, but if he’s not the bling-wearing type, you could find something else to give him to mark the occasion. This should ideally be a symbol of your love and relationship, so be creative and find something that you know he’ll really love.
  2. Make sure you’re sure. You know you want to be with him forever, but are you really ready to take the leap and nudge your relationship up to a higher level of commitment? If you’re not, you could be pushing yourself to propose prematurely and that will backfire. Awkward. So, analyze your feelings and be sure this is what you want.
  3. Are you sure he’s playing for keeps? Although you can never be completely sure that he wants to take your relationship to the next step, it certainly helps to be at least mostly sure that he’s keen on this as much as you are. That’ll just make things much easier.
  4. Say more than those four words. “Will you marry me?” is the most important thing you’re going to say, but honestly? You should tell him much more! Make the proposal personal and unique. Make it memorable. Focus on telling him how much you love him and why you want to spend the rest of your life with him.
  5. Make the day amazing. Marriage proposals don’t have to include massive romantic gestures, but they should be special and unique. Focus on choosing a proposal location that’s meaningful for both of you, such as perhaps because it’s where you went on a first date or had your first kiss.
  6. Don’t get swayed by negative people. Choosing to propose to your boyfriend means flipping the script a bit. You’re taking charge and doing something that’s traditionally been reserved for men. When you tell some people about your plans, they might not think it’s a good idea. They might say that you’re stealing the guy’s thunder or that he might not be ready to commit. Ultimately, don’t listen to them if proposing is something you really want to do. This is your love story, not theirs, and you can make it turn out however you want.
  7. Prep with a friend. Proposing to someone can be really stressful and make you anxious. It’s like asking someone out on a date, multiplied by, like, 100. So, it might help to practice the proposal with a friend you trust and who supports you. This will also help you to tweak your proposal if some elements don’t feel right.
  8. Have a disaster plan in place. Now, what happens if despite your best wishes, your boyfriend says no? It probably won’t happen because you’re pretty sure of his feelings, but hey, it helps to know how to deal in the worst-case scenario. How would you proceed? Would you end the relationship or would you want to put marriage on hold for a while? These are important questions and can help you figure out how you feel about the relationship in general as well as proposing to him.
  9. Feel out his feelings. You know he wants a future with you, but that’s not enough. How does he feel about his partner proposing instead of letting him do it? It helps to suss this out before you go ahead, just so that you know what he’s comfortable with and if he’s ready to take that step. Try to have conversations in which you can ask him about his thoughts on these issues before taking the leap. It will help you to relax knowing that he’s on the same page as you are.
  10. Don’t try to make it perfect. Everyone wants that perfect proposal without drama, but if you try too hard to make every single part of your proposal just right, you might miss out on the day. Let the proposal go the way it wants to. You might not say everything in the way you wanted, and maybe you’ll forget the speech you planned. So what? Those imperfect moments can make the best ones.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.