How To Attract Real, Long-Lasting Love

Attracting true love that lasts seems impossible for some people. After infinite terrible dates and having to be the third wheel for all your friends and their partners, you might be feeling like you’ll never be able to find the love you crave. But it’s always possible to attract love. And there are actually a few things you can do to increase your chances of manifesting it in your life. Read on for some helpful tips on how to attract the love you’ve been looking for!

  1. Raise your vibration. One of the most universal ways to attract real love is through the Law of Attraction. This law states that like attracts like, and you can attract any experience into your life by vibrating on the same frequency as that experience. So if you want to attract love, you have to vibe at the same level as love. You can change your vibration by changing your thoughts. So to vibe on the same level as love, think thoughts that make you feel love, even if you don’t have it in your life yet. Focus on the love you have for your family and friends and pets. Pour out love into your favorite hobbies and activities. Think positive thoughts to feel happier, the same way you would feel if you were in love.
  2. Attract love with feng shui. Another way you can attract love into your life is through feng shui. This ancient Chinese practice harmonizes individuals with their surrounding environment using energy forces. The Spruce published a helpful guide to attracting love with feng shui. It outlines the importance of making space for your future partner in your home. To attract love, clear out your closet so your future SO has room for their clothes. And make sure there’s room on their side of the bed!
  3. Follow your heart. If you can’t get the powers of the universe to bring you love, there are still plenty of ways to get proactive about it. Following your heart is one of the best ways to find your soulmate. Do things you love and go to places where you’ll meet people who like them too. For example, if you like books, spend time at the library. You’ll have a higher chance of meeting the right person there than you will at a bar.
  4. Maintain your standards. Here’s the thing. Finding any old relationship is actually easy. If you’re willing to drop your standards, you could have someone tomorrow—but they wouldn’t be what you’re really looking for. To attract the kind of love you want and deserve, maintain your standards. Resist the urge to settle for less. That way, when love comes, you’ll know you’re with the right person for you.
  5. Know your worth. You’ve heard this before, but we can all stand to hear it again. Once you love yourself and know your worth, it’s easier to attract love. You’ll reinforce to the people around you that you’re worth loving. Plus, that sense of inner confidence will make you more likely to go after people that catch your interest. People who practice self-love, and know how valuable they are, seem to have a natural glow that makes them more charismatic to everyone around them. That glow will definitely make it easier to attract your soulmate.
  6. Get clear on what you want. To make sure that the love you attract is long-lasting, you have to get clear on what you want. If you don’t really know what you’re looking for, then you’ll be more likely to accept someone who’s not going to make you happy or enhance your life. Dating can really help with figuring out what you want. Work out the qualities you’re looking for in an ideal partner. And when that ideal person comes along, you’ll know it.
  7. Heal your old wounds. It’s very hard to find real love and make it last if you’re still hurting from old wounds. That’s why it’s important to heal from past trauma and deal with any baggage you might be carrying around. If you’re going to start a new relationship with a brand new person, you’ll have to move on from your past pain. Rather than expecting your new love to heal your wounds for you, you have to do the hard work yourself first.
  8. Be open to new experiences. Love can come in the most mysterious packages. So it’s super important to be open to new experiences. The Universe might be trying to send you the love of your life, but you’re not getting the chance to meet them because you keep turning down the opportunities that spring up. Try to be open-minded about trying new things, stepping out of your comfort zone, and giving everything a chance. Of course, it’s still important to listen to your gut. If you know in your bones that something isn’t for you, then it probably isn’t. But otherwise, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and try something new.
  9. Be yourself. You won’t attract real love that lasts if you’re too afraid to be yourself. You might impress more people by pretending to be someone else, but they’ll be the wrong kind of people. Why? They won’t love you for who you are. Even if you get fewer bites, never be afraid to be the real you. That’s the only way you’ll attract the person who will love you for all of the stuff that makes you who you are.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.