How To Avoid Looking Like A Stalker On Facebook

How To Avoid Looking Like A Stalker On Facebook ©iStock/william87

So, you’ve met a new guy or you’re wondering what your ex is up to. But it’s so easy to check up on somebody on social media, and before you know it, you’re one of those nuts Facebook stalkers who spends hours a day tracking this poor person’s every move. You have better things to do. Besides you can still check him out without seeming like a stalker. Just try to avoid some of the more creepy actions and you’ll be fine.

  1. Don’t comment on everything. Even his closest friends don’t comment on his every post. You definitely shouldn’t be doing it. Maybe you want to attract his attention or see how he’ll respond. No matter what your reasoning, all this does is scare the crap out of the guy. Comment occasionally. You want him to notice you, not run away screaming.
  2. Stop tagging him. Did you post a picture of the two of you or a video you think he’d like? Tagging him is a great way to draw him to your profile. It’s also a little annoying when he barely knows you or would rather leave you in his past. Stop trying to drag this poor guy to your page by tagging him in random posts. Even your own friends will wonder what’s going on.
  3. Quit posting obviously sappy quotes and videos. Poor you. Your ex has moved on or the guy you’re crushing on hasn’t noticed yet. Life goes on. The barrage of sappy quote and video posts is getting on everyone’s nerves. We all know what your intention is. You’re trying to get others to feel sorry for you and let you know what’s going on in your guy’s life. You get pity and others to be your spies. Enough already!
  4. Don’t friend all his friends. So you’re trying to take a less obvious approach. Good for you. At least you’re being a little smarter about your stalking. The problem is all his friends are going to wonder why you suddenly want to friend them. Don’t you think they’ll tell him? Only try to friend his friends if you actually know them and get along with them. Leave them out of this.
  5. Avoid changing your relationship status. Unless your relationship status has actually changed, don’t change it just to see how the guy you’re stalking will react. It’s going to seem extremely odd when he sees the status flip from “in a relationship” to “single” the moment he comments. Not to mention, everyone else is going to think you’re nuts for switching your status back and forth just to get a guy’s attention.
  6. Only request him as a friend once. Friend requests don’t just disappear on Facebook. If you requested him once, that’s all you need to do. If he accidentally deleted the request, he’ll let you know. Want to seem like a nuts stalker chick? Go ahead and send him a new friend request each week. Guess what he’ll do. Decline them all.
  7. Skip the fake profile, he’ll find out. So he’s ignored you so far and possibly even blocked you for all the comments and tagging. Your next step is creating a fake profile. Just don’t. It’s bad enough when people do it just to play games on Facebook. You might think you’re being sneaky, but he will find out. You will make a mistake such as commenting on a post his new girlfriend made.
  8. Ease up on the sexy pics. Sexy pics will definitely get a guy’s attention. They also scream “please notice me” when they’re not wanted. Sending sexy pics to the guy on Facebook or tagging him so he’ll see them only makes you seem crazier. Keep the sexy to yourself. Everyone knows what you’re up to. And no, stalker doesn’t look good on you.
  9. Only Like recent posts and pictures. There’s nothing wrong with trying to check out a new guy on Facebook before you get involved. Just don’t make it look like you’re stalking him. If you’re going to like a post or picture, only do so with recent ones, such as those in the last few weeks. Anything older than that and it’s obvious you’re digging through is profile like a madwoman. Check out his profile as far back as you want, but keep your likes and comments to yourself.
  10. Don’t show up at places he posts he’ll be. One of the creepiest things you can do to the guy you’re Facebook stalking is to stalk him in real life. So, he posts he’ll be at the movies Thursday night at 9 PM and suddenly, you just happen to be waiting outside when the movie ends. Once is coincidence. Doing this all the time just tells him you’re the nuts girl he needs to stay away from. Hopefully, he’ll also learn to stop posting where he’ll be.
  11. Don’t harass his female friends. Once again, leave all of his friends out of your stalking. Whether the guy’s interested in you or the relationship is long over, his female friends aren’t your business. Harassing them on their own profiles just makes you a major league bitch. This isn’t going to score you any points with your guy. In fact, he’ll just get pissed and avoid you even more. Just let the guy go if he’s already making you this kind of nuts.
  12. Leave your friends and family out of it. When you’ve caused him and all of his friends to block you, you might think it’s a great idea to turn to your own list of friends and family. Please don’t. Even if they haven’t noticed your stalker behavior yet, they will the moment you ask them to stalk the guy for you. They have better things to do than keep tabs on a guy they couldn’t care less about.
  13. Don’t try to friend his family members. Sadly, this has to be said. Don’t try to friend his family members. You might think getting to know his mom will help you get close to him is the perfect plan. It’s not. If friending his family members sounds good to you, you’re definitely entering stalker territory and need to back off. Only friend his family if you and him are actual friends and his family likes you. Otherwise, leave them alone.

The temptation is strong sometimes, but you just end up looking stalkerish and desperate. Leave Facebook behind for a while and focus on living your own life. It’s far more interesting anyway.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.