Back in the day, a wedding was basically an arrangement between families. You, a bag of potatoes and an unruly goat, got traded off to a dude from some other family and bam! You were married. Weddings are now less of a business transaction and more of a party and and while it’s a lot less likely to see a unruly goat at a wedding, the chances of witnessing a Bridezilla is now more common than ever because the stress of planning “THE PERFECT DAY” can turn any blushing bride into a crazed animal. If you’re getting married soon, here are a few tips to help you avoid turning into a Bridezilla.
Remember it’s YOUR day. And not anyone else’s. One of the biggest mistakes brides make is thinking that since the wedding is their top priority, it should be everyone else’s. as well. The quicker you accept the fact that your wedding is only a national holiday for you and your fiance, the less chance you’ll have of being disappointed, angry or getting into unnecessary fights. The people you love cannot put their entire life on pause for your big day, and you shouldn’t expect them to.
Invest in a wedding planner. There’s a reason why those stock pictures of crazy brides on Google are so terrifyingly funny – it’s because we’ve all known or heard of a bride losing their crap over centerpieces. Your official title on the days that lead up to your wedding is bride-to-be, NOT Josephine Stalin. This is why it’s a good idea to hire a wedding planner and relinquish most of the planning duties to them so you can avoid making your bridesmaid cry when you yell at her for walking down the aisle like a penguin.
Don’t try to have a celebrity wedding. A Bridezilla starts as a small seed of stress that grows out of control. A huge contributing factor to wedding stress is money. Going over budget to try and accommodate your grandiose dream of having a fireworks show at your reception will suck the life out of your soul and turn you into a rabid, snarling bride that even your groom won’t recognize. Stay within your budget. Remember that you’re marrying someone, not taping an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians.
Take a break. The dress, the flowers, the music, the reception, the DJ… The to-do list goes on and on when you’re planning a wedding. It stops being fun and starts becoming a job, and you start getting cranky about and taking out on everyone else. While your wedding is important, it’s also important for you to step back from the whirlwind and take a breather. Go have a massage, a midday nap, or watch something on Netflix for a while. Scheduling some time off to do ANYTHING that’s not wedding-related is a great way to avoid getting a case of the Bridezillas.
Remember why you’re having a wedding. I know it sounds stupid, because who doesn’t remember why they’re having a wedding? Bridezillas, that’s who. All brides have the potential to go from excited to just be engaged to totally enraged because these napkin rings ARE STAINLESS STEEL AND NOT BRUSHED STEEL LIKE I ORDERED!!!! Remind yourself that the whole point of the wedding is for you and your families to celebrate your love for each other, not to have doves place the ring on your finger just so, while your guests Instagram the moment.
Be flexible and willing to adapt. This goes back to embracing the fact that your wedding is not everyone’s top priority. Everyone has their own life and their own schedules. Keep this in mind when planning your events. No, you don’t have to cater to everyone’s schedule, but you do have to remember that sometimes your wedding schedule will conflict with someone else’s and that you don’t have any right to be angry or freak out if someone can’t make it. Your best bet to avoid any headaches is to have a replacement person waiting in the wings in case any of your bridesmaids or groomsmen can’t fulfill their obligations.
Don’t have an event overload. Another way to avoid a potential freak out is to keep the pre-wedding events to a minimum. You don’t have to have an engagement party, a bridal party, a bachelorette party, a wedding party party, and an after party party. No matter how much your friends and family love you, wedding exhaustion and resentment will set in if your wedding celebrations start to take over their lives as well.
Know that it won’t be perfect. Something is going to go wrong. Just expect it so that when the inevitable hiccup comes during your big day, you can just let it roll off your back. If you won’t settle for anything less than a wedding where everything happens exactly as you planned, you’re setting yourself up for a Bridezilla meltdown of epic proportions. A perfect wedding is when the bride and groom are happy and having fun on their big day, and you can’t exactly have fun when you’re freaking out about wilting flower arrangements or that one curl in your hair that just won’t go into place.
Vent in a healthy way. Venting is a must when it comes to planning a wedding. If you don’t have an outlet to release all your stress and frustrations, it can come out at an inopportune time on an innocent victim of your wedding party who didn’t know that something as innocent as dropping the rings could summon the wrath of the Bridezilla. Alleviate some of your stress and the pressure of planning by talking to your fiance, your mom, or your girlfriends about what’s troubling you, instead of bottling it all up.
Be grateful to your wedding party. They’re there for you. They’re spending their hard earned money on dresses, bachelor trips, gifts and taking time out of their busy schedules to go to your rehearsals, parties, fittings, etc. They don’t have to do that. They could have easily said no and saved themselves the trouble (and the cash), but they’re there. So make sure that, despite how stressed you are, you express your gratefulness for their time and their love. Don’t make them regret supporting you by being bratty and entitled.
Decide to have fun. When you open your eyes on the morning of your big day, decide right then and there that you’re going to have fun, no matter what. No matter if the ring bearer pukes in the middle of the ceremony or the cake looks like the leaning tower of Pisa, be in the moment and enjoy the one of the most important days of your life. You won’t remember all the tiny details of your wedding years from now, but you will remember exactly how you felt. Make sure you both decide to make it a day you can both look back on with fondness.