Many of us want to find love, but not all of us are in a position to actually do so. We carry so much hurt, cynicism, and general negativity with us after too many failed relationships and bad experiences, and while that’s understandable, it’s not doing us any favor. If you want to find a partnership that’s happy, healthy, and built to last, you’re going to have to make some changes. Here’s how to be open to love and stay emotionally available even when it’s hard.
Set down your past relationship baggage. It’s hard to be open to love when you’re carrying around so much baggage from your previous relationships. Maybe you’ve been cheated on or you were dumped out of the blue. Maybe someone fell out of love with you without warning or broke your heart just because they could. Of course these experiences are going to leave you with scars, but if you transport that baggage around with you for the rest of your days, not only can you not be truly emotionally available but you’ll struggle in life in general. You deserve better than that.
Keep a positive outlook. It’s so easy to write of all men as garbage or even to write yourself off as not worthy of love or destined to be alone forever. None of those things are true. Ever heard of manifest destiny? The energy you put into the world is the energy you’ll get back. You want to draw good things to you and repel the bad. You can’t do that unless you’re truly open to love and feeling positive about it. You deserve good things. You are worthy. Your person is out there. Repeat that until you believe it.
Be thoughtful with your dealbreakers. It’s definitely vital to have boundaries and standards, but don’t create ones that are so rigid that they leave zero wiggle room. Being open to love means being open to the unexpected from time to time. It means knowing what you want but realizing that something might come along that doesn’t fit your mental image but is still worth a shot. You never know what or who you might find out there, and isn’t that exciting?
Broaden your horizons. Similar to the above, it’s important to leave your “type” behind and go into the world with an open heart and mind. Focus on getting to know people rather than finding one specific type of person you think would suit you. Pursue adventure, passion, fulfillment and see where they lead you. It could just help you find love.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. At the end of the day, emotional availability requires vulnerability, and that can be scary, especially if you’ve been hurt before. Know that it’s worth the risk in the end. After all, you can’t truly build a close bond and a lasting relationship with someone unless you open yourself up to them. Give it a chance. What do you have to lose?
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