How To Be More Independent When Independence Scares You

When you’re not used to doing things on your own, trying to be more independent can be scary. Usually your friends or partner is around, and when left to your own devices, you’re not really sure what to do with yourself. Unfortunately, this will only make life way more difficult in the end, so becoming self-reliant should be your first priority. After all, independence is the most important thing you can have in life.

  1. Embrace who you really are.Get to know yourself and really celebrate you. Once you learn to love and respect yourself wholly, you won’t be reliant on anyone else to love and respect you.
  2. Learn the art of self-validation.Don’t wait around for someone else to tell you how hot you look or how smart you are. Tell yourself everyday until you realize that you are more than enough all on your own.
  3. Make your own choices.If you can’t decide between plan A or B, instead of asking for assistance, just pick one and jump in with both feet. You’re fully capable of making your own decisions in life, and the more you do it on your own the more you’ll realize that.
  4. Do more things alone. Instead of waiting around for someone to do something you’re dying to do, go ahead and do it yourself. Eat at that new hip restaurant or dance the night away at that club opening by yourself and the more often you take yourself out the more independent you’ll feel.
  5. Put yourself first.If you’re always putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own you’ll almost certainly become co-dependent. In the short run it may work for you, but it strips you of your independence and that’s not a positive.
  6. Become self-reliant. Whether it’s buying yourself that designer handbag or getting yourself to spin class without bumming a ride, you don’t need anyone to do anything for you. Being able to rely on yourself for everything will give you a strength you never knew you had.
  7. Learn new things. Teach yourself how to change a tire or reset your wifi router. Anything that you’d normally have to call someone to do for you, you can learn to do yourself, and it’s important that you do.
  8. Solve your own problems. Stop Googling answers to big life questions. You don’t need to know what someone else would do in your situation, you just need to search inside yourself to find out what you truly want to do and the right answer will come.
  9. Make your own rules. You don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself. You’re the boss of your own life and when you realize that, independence gets that much easier.
  10. Learn to enjoy your own company.Maybe you’re so dependent on others because you really can’t stand being alone. When you learn to enjoy the time you spend with yourself, you maximize your independence by realizing that you’re alone and you’re still amazing.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.