How To Be Someone Who Makes Friends Easily

Making friends as an adult can be hard, especially when people have already established their friendship groups and hectic lives that don’t allow enough time for socialization as it is. However, while it’s difficult, it’s not impossible. Here’s how to be someone who can make friends easily.

  1. Don’t take rejection personally. Not everyone is going to like you and you certainly won’t like everyone else. But when people see you don’t really care about what other people think, they’ll often gravitate towards this air of carefree confidence. It’s far easier to make friends when you’re not so worried about whether they like you or whether you’ll ever hang out again. Take it one interaction at a time and the people who want to stay friends with you will do so.
  2. Be proud of who you are. When you’re open about and proud of who you are as a person, what you think about big issues, and what you value in life, you’ll be shocked at how easily you make friends. Even if people don’t agree with you, they’ll often appreciate the honesty and will find it easier to be around you because you’re genuine.
  3. Hug when you first meet someone. Meeting someone for the first time can be daunting. Do you shake hands, do you kiss on both cheeks, or do you keep some distance between each other? Vanessa Van Edwards, a behavioral investigator with Science of People, notes: “We focus so much on what we want to say in interviews, on dates and in meetings, but actually how we say something and greet someone is more important.” It’s easy to break down barriers fast by going in for a quick hello hug. This signals to people you are friendly and open.
  4. Use social media and apps to your advantage. There are lots of negatives to social media and the use of apps, but a huge advantage is that it connects us to different people instantly which makes it easier to make friends. There are lots of social media groups, websites, and apps based on finding people to hang out and do stuff with. When you use tools like this to your advantage, you’ll quickly see how easy it is to make friends because a lot of people are in the same situation in wanting to connect more with others.
  5. Share a photo of yourself. If you do go down the social media/app route, share a photo of yourself. Often, people feel weird about having a profile photo showing their face or doing something they enjoy and this makes it difficult for people to connect with them. Sharing a photo of yourself is so important when easily making friends because it shows a real person behind the words on the screen. Of course, catfishing is a thing, but still — people want an idea of who they’re talking to.
  6. Engage in things you enjoy or at least want to try. When you take on more hobbies or at least try something new that you wouldn’t normally consider doing, this breaks down barriers and creates way more opportunities for you to meet someone you might like to make friends with. It’s so much easier to have conversations and form connections when you’re out in the world enjoying yourself (or at least pushing yourself out of your comfort zone).
  1. Ask more questions. When trying to make friends, make sure to ask more questions about the other person. This makes people feel like they’re interesting and that you’re actually invested in what they have to say. You’ll quickly realize it will be reciprocated and that people will be much more drawn to you.
  2. Give some genuine compliments. If you like someone’s shoes or their nail art, tell them about it. Letting someone know how you feel early means it will be easier to allow friendships to form. Not only that, but you’ll most likely get a compliment in return, which is always a morale booster. Everyone likes feeling good about themselves, and we’re naturally going to be drawn to people who uplift us.
  3. Remember to follow up. It’s important to get some sort of contact details after meeting for the first time. Swap numbers and/or social media accounts and send a message that you enjoyed hanging out with them. A follow-up message allows the other person to see that you meant what you said about enjoying yourself and wanting to hang out again. If you want to make friends, you have to be willing to follow up.
  4. Put in a bit of effort. If the other person was the one to initiate a meet-up or suggest something you could try together, make the effort in return and suggest things too. It’s easier to make friends when you both know a mutual effort will be made in terms of seeing one another. Life is hectic and nuts, but everyone needs a bit of downtime. That’s the perfect time to get together!
  5. Be open-minded about the types of friends you’d like to meet. So often we think we’ll only get along with certain types of people, particularly those who are very similar to ourselves. You’ll be surprised how your initial judgments of people can be so far from the truth, so it’s definitely worth getting to know more people to challenge these thoughts. The British Psychological Society notes that the contact theory is “the idea that positive contact such as friendships between different groups can promote positive attitudes.” Once your thoughts are challenged, it will be easier to make friends as you’ll come to realize initial impressions may not be what you should base your opinion on.
  6. Stay confident about what you bring to a friendship. So often we worry about whether people like us instead of asking ourselves if we even like the other person. An article titled “The Liking Gap in Conversations: Do People Like Us More Than We Think?” states that, “after people have conversations, they are liked more than they know.” It’s easy to think in conversations the other person isn’t enjoying themself or isn’t interested in what you have to say, but this article suggests that while we may think this, it’s actually the opposite. When you stay confident in the good traits you bring to a friendship and know people probably like you more than you think, you’re bound to easily make more friends.
Cynthia likes to share stories and advice via writing and podcasting, especially when it comes to society's overbearing standards in regards to specific timelines and goals for women i.e. get married, have kids, blah blah blah...shut up.