How To Become An Emotionally Stable Adult Instead Of A Hot Mess

Some people naturally know how to react in a difficult situation while others lose their heads the second things don’t go their way. Which one are you? Achieving emotional stability isn’t easy but it’s something you should strive for so you don’t grow up to be a 40-something-year-old mess. Here are 11 things you can do to better manage your emotions.

  1. Be Realistic. Being realistic isn’t being pessimistic. It doesn’t mean you have low expectations, it means you have expectations that can actually be met. For example, do you think your life’s always going to be smooth sailing? It won’t. It’s important to know you’re going to experience some bad times along with the good ones.
  2. Stop Blaming Everyone Else. The blame game is silly and it only makes you feel and look nuts. Honestly, it doesn’t matter who’s at fault. What matters is what you learn from the experience. Instead of playing the victim and trying to blame everyone else, take the blame – even when you don’t think it’s your fault.
  3. Be Who You Are. It’s hard to ignore other people’s opinions, especially when those opinions are about you. Your parents, friends, and significant others have expectations for you. And while you shouldn’t dismiss them, make sure their expectations align with yours. Your partner might expect you to marry them in a year, but if that’s not what you want, don’t do it. Don’t let people influence who you are and where you’re going.
  4. Take Control. You can’t stop yourself from crying but you can avoid situations that make you cry. You can walk away from unhealthy environments and people who make you feel worthless. Remember, you’re in control of your own emotions. You just have to know your triggers and do your best to steer clear of them.
  5. Be Patient. You can’t have everything when you want it. That’s why timing is so important. For things to work out, everything has to be aligned. Have you ever had a relationship where you two loved each other but they weren’t ready to get married or you weren’t ready to commit? Timing wasn’t on your side. That’s going to happen, even outside of relationships. To be emotionally stable, you need to recognize when it’s time to make a move and when it’s time to take a step back.
  6. Think Before You Speak. The key to adulting is thinking before you open your mouth. Yes, we have the right to freedom of speech, but does that mean you can say every thought that comes into your head? Yes. But you probably shouldn’t if you want to be emotionally stable. Instead, think before you speak so that instead of just reacting, you’re responding.
  7. Don’t Take Things Personally. It’s easy to take people’s words and actions personally, especially when they say and do things you don’t like. Most of the time, though, the way people act has nothing to do with you. They’re either having a bad day or they’re just rude. Regardless, it’s their problem, not yours. Don’t spend time overthinking how other people treat you and don’t hold grudges. Forgive, forget, and move on.
  8. Don’t Hide Your Emotions. The worst thing you can do is suppress your emotions. If you do, you’ll end up blowing up at random people for the wrong reasons which won’t help you become emotionally stable. If you’re feeling anxious, admit it. If you’re sad, take some time alone. Don’t hide your emotions unless you want to become someone who’s always screaming and never knows why.
  9. Become Professionally Stable. To be emotionally stable, you need to be professionally stable. That doesn’t mean you should give up on your dreams, but to survive in this world, you need a job. More importantly, you need money. Sometimes that means sacrificing what you want, with what you need while still making sure you’re happy.
  10. Say no. The thing is, a lot of people in this life will try to use you. The only way to stop that from happening is by saying no. Don’t let yourself get suckered into going somewhere you don’t want to be or doing something you don’t want to do. Say no to negative influences who’ll only make your life more difficult.
  11. Embrace Your Flaws. We all have flaws, but not all of us embrace them. You’re probably wondering how it’s even possible to embrace what you hate about yourself. Unfortunately, that’s the only option. You can either accept your flaws and try to improve or you can hate them and further damage your self-esteem. An emotionally stable adult would choose the former.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.