How To Bring Romance Back To Your Relationship

The courtship period may be long gone, but that doesn’t mean the romance should be too. Just because you’ve been together for a while and you’re completely comfortable and secure in your relationship, that shouldn’t automatically translate to sex once a month and spending your evenings silently staring at your phones at opposite ends of the couch. Here’s how to bring the romance back to your relationship where it should be. You’ll be grateful you did.

  1. Turn down the lights. I don’t mean literally, though that can be effective too. What I’m referring to here is by putting a bit of ambiance back into your life in order to bring the romance back to your relationship. Instead of eating dinner in your stained sweats on the couch, maybe set the table, light a few candles, and actually set the scene so that connecting with your partner is easier and more desirable. This doesn’t have to be done every night, but every once in a while is enough to make a big difference.
  2. Slow down time in the bedroom. If your sex life basically consists of a quick shag every Saturday afternoon so you can both get your rocks off and be done with it, it’s no wonder you’re desperate to bring romance back to your relationship. Who wants to live like that? Slow things down when you’re having sex and focus on making love instead. Yes, it probably makes you cringe to read the phrase “making love,” but taking your time to explore one another and enjoy that kind of connection is vital.
  3. Pick up some flowers just because. Even if you’re a woman in a heterosexual relationship, this can work. Hey, men can appreciate flowers too! Even if you’re just grabbing a quick bouquet from the gas station on the way home from work, this little token of thoughtfulness can show your partner how much you appreciate them and that they’re on your mind even when you’re not at home. How romantic is that?
  4. Do something you know will make their life easier/less stressful. This is perhaps an unconventional approach to trying to bring the romance back to your relationship but you’d be shocked at how much it works. If your partner usually takes their dry-cleaning in on Wednesdays but they’re having a super busy week, just dropping it off for them can be enough to lighten their load and make them feel that much happier.
  5. Put your words down on paper. You don’t have to be a talented poet in order to write down your feelings for your partner. A good way to bring romance back to your relationship is by being romantic. Write them a little note that you leave on their desk in the morning or put in their lunch so that they find it when they’re at work. It’s really adorable and will most definitely make them smile.
  6. Express your heartfelt feelings aloud. Alternately, you can express your feelings aloud at any time, as well you should. Let your partner know that you love them, value their presence in your life, and love the life you share together. This resolidifies that your connection is much more than friendship and might encourage them to lay it on thick with you in return.
  7. Offer a little physical affection. This cannot be understated. While having sex is not the only time you should be physically connected with your partner. In fact, most of the time you’re intimate should not be while undressed. Hold hands, cuddle on the couch, pat one another on the back, kiss on the cheek or lips, or any other little token of affection that makes them feel loved and cherished.
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill