How To Compliment A Guy Through Text

So you’ve met a guy on a dating app or even at the bar that you really like and you’ve been messaging. You want to amp up the flirting by saying something nice, but how? Here’s how to compliment a guy through text — it’s easier than you think.

Mix it up.

I know that you might be tempted to find one thing that this guy responds well to, but don’t become a broken record. You know in yourself that there are so many parts and aspects of his personality that you are interested in. Don’t just stick to physical compliments —think about his inner soul. Talk to him about that in unexpected ways.

Make it genuine.

As soon as you think someone’s only saying things because they think we want them to, everything feels fake. To feel more authentic, mix things up. It’ll stop you from just performing validation and ensure that you strike the right balance of compliments. This is particularly true over text when you can’t read people’s body language and you need to keep the messaging clear. Make sure you mean what you’re saying or he’ll be able to tell.

Be original.

Don’t think about what other people might have said or commented on. Don’t play it safe. Focus on what you find yourself attracted by and how you personally respond to your partner. That’s what matters, and that’s what your man will be interested in. He will really appreciate your honesty and your in-depth comments. Men can spot superficiality a mile away. Don’t overthink it – talk about what feels right.

Be subtle too.

There is a lot of value in coming out guns blazing, but in truth, a gentler approach can be a lot more effective. This is because you’re texting, and that is a conversation where it can be harder to tell what the vibe is. Or the tone. You might have been teasing him, but he might have got the wrong end of the stick and thought you were insulting him. Make sure you check in with the conversation and its trajectory. This is why it’s important to take a bottom-up approach, and start slowly when it comes to compliments over texts. If you declare that you love someone on day one, you lose credibility. No matter how genuine those feelings might be. Be realistic and think about what you’d want to hear.

Be obvious.

Contrary to my previous advice, there is also a time and place for a distinctly unsubtle approach to compliments. If you find your boyfriend’s attention waning, or like he isn’t feeling very supported, that’s when it’s time to step things up. It might be that his love language is words of affirmation, or that his history of dating means he needs more support and affirmation. Whatever the reason, you might have to step into second or third gear in order to reaffirm your interest in them. Try complimenting the big things, like the influence they’ve had in your life, or the way they’ve fundamentally changed you in the time you’ve known them.

How to compliment a guy through text

Talk about things that he cares about

. You can compliment his toes or neck or an all number of random body parts all you like, but unless it’s something that he cares about, he won’t feel the benefit. He won’t feel a connection to what you’re saying that way. It’s also the same as you complimenting things that you would want to be complimented on. Those are not necessarily the same things that he is looking to be complimented on. Be mindful of that. Tell him he’s good at sports and attractive. The industry-leading gold standard stuff.

Compliment his insecurities

. When you have been talking to a guy long enough, he will consciously or otherwise reveal his insecurities. By complementing these features, you’re showing him that you can be trusted. Not only are you not ignoring them, but you’re starting a conversation about them in a positive way. Don’t say that no one notices his nose, or realizes that he’s short because he won’t believe you, and that’s essentially agreeing with him that they’re flaws. By saying that you view them as attractive, you show him that he can view himself in other ways. It can be transformative.

When in doubt, use emojis

. Suggestive ones. You know the type. If you find a lull in the conversation, or you can’t think of what to respond to his compliments with, you could do worse than a curated emoji-filled message. This ensures that you respond in some way, even if it isn’t really meaningful. It’s a good juncture in the conversation to make sure that, if he never compliments you in return, he does.

Give him Physical compliments.

While physical compliments might seem like the most obvious avenue to compliment, they feature last on my list here. It’s because people remember compliments about their personality and accomplishments for far longer than comments about their physical appearance, which, for the most part, they can’t control. Guys love compliments about their achievements – it strokes their ego.

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