How To Cope When You Love Each Other But Can’t Be Together

There’s nothing worse than being head over heels in love with someone that you know you can’t be with. Whether one of you is already in a relationship or the timing simply isn’t right, it can be devastating to accept that it’s just not going to work out. However, that doesn’t mean it has to ruin your life. Here’s how to cope when you love each other but can’t be together.

  1. Acknowledge and reflect on your feelings. It’s important that you don’t bottle up your feelings or pretend like they don’t exist — that’s not going to help anyone. Acknowledge that you really love this person and that you’re upset that you can’t be together. Give yourself space to mourn your broken heart and reflect on how you feel about them and why it’s maybe better that things didn’t work out the way you might have hoped. Over time, this will help bring you clarity.
  2. Find a way to make peace with the situation. This is easier said than done and perhaps is something you won’t be able to achieve until a bit further down the line, but it’s possible and important to strive for. It’s vital that you find a way to accept the reality of your situation with this person so that you can move on in your life instead of holding onto something that’s not meant for you.
  3. Indulge in self-care. Just because you love each other but can’t be together doesn’t mean that you should let your love for yourself become neglected. As you reflect on your feelings and work on moving past them, it’s important to look after yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Make sure to feed your body nourishing foods, get a bit of movement on a daily basis, do a bit of meditation, hang out with people who make you feel good, etc. You deserve at least that.
  4. Figure out if a friendship is possible. This is another step that may not be possible or appropriate right away (or ever). However, just because you can’t be in a romantic relationship with this person doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t be in one another’s lives. Not being together as lovers doesn’t have to prohibit you from being friends, particularly if you connected on more than just a romantic level. If you’re both up for it when the more intense feelings have faded, you could have a beautiful platonic relationship.
  5. Open your heart to someone else when you’re ready. It’s going to take time to get over your feelings for the person you love but can’t be with, but eventually, you will. When that point comes, open yourself up to new love and enjoy being together in a situation that’s right. It may seem hard to fathom just yet, but I promise you when it comes along, it’ll be so worth it.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia