How To Cope When Your Ex Moves On Too Fast

Even when you’re completely over someone, it can still be hard when they manage to jump into a new relationship before you do. In your head, you want to believe that your ex was the reason for the breakup. But, seeing, them with someone else so quickly can be a real blow to your self-esteem. That said, it’s completely natural and in their right to date whomever they want when your romantic relationship has ended. But, here’s how to cope.

  1. Remind yourself that they’re not your match. That doesn’t mean they’re not someone else’s match. It’s possible they ended up meeting their soulmate after you, and the quick timing was nothing personal. Even if the new relationship did happen to be out of spite, why let it bother you? You’ll meet someone else if you want to, and it’s not a contest.
  2. Block them on social media. You don’t want to, but you should. The further you are from them and their situation, the quicker it’ll be for you to move on. It may be good for the drama aspect and the gossip, but why bother? Leave those behaviors behind and make a clean break. Your mental health will thank you.
  3. Talk to your parents. If you have a good relationship with your parents, they’re going to be a great source. Even if they really liked your partner, their main goal should be your happiness. And if they didn’t like your ex, they’ll surely tell you why — which will only reinforce your own feelings. They’re the perfect way to boost your spirit and remind you that your choice was a good one.
  4. Don’t badmouth their new partner. It only makes you look jealous, and there’s a good chance their new partner knows nothing about the relationship. Try hard not to judge them on looks or online behavior. In fact, don’t read too much into it, because then you’ll start spiraling and wonder what they had that you didn’t. Unless they dated someone you know — which is a little disrespectful — it’s none of your business.
  5. Try to focus on yourself. It may be a pedicure, or a massage, or even just a day where you sit down and watch a full series of Unsolved Mysteries. Do what you can to pamper yourself and feel good about yourself. Boost your own self-esteem, and try hard not to think about it. If friends text you about the breakup, tell them that you’re not ready to talk about it just yet. That should be a good sign to them that you’re still processing your own feelings, and don’t want their opinions to cloud that process.
  6. Don’t text them about it. If the relationship lasted for a long time, you may still be chatting with each other about logistics — especially if the two of you were living together. It’s possible you got word about them moving on from social media or a mutual friend. If they didn’t tell you about them directly, don’t be the one to ask. They may be trying to spare your feelings, and any conversation you bring up won’t be good. Let them go. If it’s a mistake on their part, they’ll figure that out sooner or later.
  7. Watch a great movie with your favorite celebrity crush. Whether it’s old or new, a celebrity crush will always make you feel better. For one, they likely have all the attributes that most people you know don’t. Secondly, they never hurt your feelings. Project on them for a little bit to help you get over this hump. Then, ask yourself why you like the celebrity. Is it their charm? Or sense of humor? Maybe those are traits you should look for in your next partner.
  8. If it keeps bothering you, consider visiting a therapist. Honestly, everyone should see a therapist. And that’s because sometimes, we as people aren’t all that sure why certain moments in life upset us so much. Maybe you weren’t that into your partner, but having them move on so fast triggered you to think of another moment in time with another relationship that you’re still not over. Or, maybe this is some sort of pattern that’s important to take control of and break. It’s a healthy step to take for yourself.
  9. Don’t feel the pressure to move on just as fast. Relationships can happen at their own pace. The last thing you want to do is hurt the feelings of a rebound who may not realize they’re a rebound. If it’s been some time since you’ve been single, take a second to enjoy it. Being single isn’t the worst thing in the world. Your schedule is all yours, and you can really learn a lot about yourself while improving your life skills. Be thankful for this moment in time.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.