Being cheated on or betrayed in any way by a partner can leave the best of us with trust issues, and they can be hard to overcome. If you’re dating someone who feels insecure and suspicious of new partners due to their past experience, you might write them off as not worth it or get frustrated that they can’t just “get over it.” Don’t! Here’s how to date someone with trust issues. Trust me – they’re worth it.
- Ask them about their experiences so you can understand them better. It’s very hard to be empathetic towards someone’s struggles when you don’t know about them or understand them. If you’re going to date someone with trust issues, have a frank conversation with them about what caused those issues and how what happened to them made them feel. This way, you’ll get a better glimpse of the way they tick and they’ll feel comforted knowing that you care enough to ask.
- Don’t lie – not even about the little stuff. Sometimes we all tell little white lies to avoid getting into big conversations/arguments with people, but you really can’t do that when you’re in a relationship with (or starting to date) someone with trust issues. It’s important to be 100% honest at all times, even if it’s difficult, so that they know they can rely on your word.
- Ditch the shady behavior. Don’t hide your phone or turn it away from them when you get a text. Don’t go AWOL for days on end and then be vague about what you’ve been up to. While you don’t have to share your every waking second with this person, if you want to develop a relationship with them, you shouldn’t be doing things you know would arouse their (or anyone’s!) suspicion. Just be upfront. It’s not that hard.
- Be consistent in every way. Another important pointer. If you’re going to date someone with trust issues, make sure you’re ready to be dating and that you plan on being consistent. You shouldn’t be wishy-washy or play hot and cold because you don’t know what you want. This is only going to make them feel like their trust issues are founded and that they’re right to be suspicious of you, and that’s really not what you want.
- Don’t just tell them you’re not like their ex, show them. It’s easy to get mad when someone with trust issues is reluctant to fully let you in, but screaming “I’m not your ex!” isn’t really going to help you. Instead, show them that you’re not like their ex by following the above bits of advice. Be consistent, don’t be shady, communicate with them openly and honestly. It’s really not that hard.
- Encourage them to seek therapy if needed. At the end of the day, while it’s important to be patient and understanding, it’s really not your responsibility to fix anyone else’s “issues.” If you’re doing everything you can to show this person that they can rely on you and they’re still not having it, it might be time for them to seek professional help for their trust issues. There’s no shame in that, and their life will likely be much better for it.