How To Deal When The World Is Conspiring Against You

How To Deal When The World Is Conspiring Against You

Sometimes we can have days, or even weeks, when nothing is going our way. It’s like someone is throwing so many obstacles in your way to prevent you from reaching your end goal, whether it be getting a massive zit the night before you have a date with the guy you’ve crushed on forever, or losing your job the second after signing a one-year lease on a much more expensive apartment. While we can sing along to Kelly Clarkson and swear that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, it’s also annoying as hell, and can totally throw us off our path.

As empty as Kelly’s lyrics might seem at the time (I mean, of course things are going well for you, Kelly Clarkson) they’re definitely true. Once you learn how to move past these roadblocks, you’ll be on your way to success soon enough. Here are a few ways to deal with a few less-than-ideal situations that might be plaguing you.

1. You find the perfect new purse/shirt on sale, but don’t have the cash.

Being an adult sucks. Despite the whole “I eat marshmallows for breakfast because I can” thing, we also have to worry about paying for rent and utilities. Chances are, your parents don’t help out with the credit card bill the way they did in college, when education was your job. While you don’t necessarily overspend, you know what you like — and you’re loving that purse in the display window. And you’re kicking yourself for going to the mall in the first place, since you know you just paid bills. Now what?

The best thing to do in a situation like this, is to take note of what you like about the purse. Then, try to find something similar (and much cheaper) elsewhere. If it’s jewelry, you should consider looking at Etsy for a chance to support an individual artist while saving some cash. The fact that you found something you loved while strapped for cash is the universe telling you this isn’t the one. It’s not meant to be. And if it was? You’ll see it discounted even more in the future, when you have some green to spare.

2. You’re finally going on a date with your crush, and you get your period.

You’ve liked this guy for a year, but finally got close to him after being assigned a group project with him at school. He dug your sense of humor, and asked you what your plans were for Friday. You were so excited, that you don’t even remember what plans you made — just that he’d be at your place around 7. Or 8. You’re going to start prepping at 4, so the actual time doesn’t even matter.

Then, it happens. You get your period, and feel like you’ve gained 15 pounds and 40 pimples. Based on the fact that you just got into a screaming match with your roommate with something stupid (she didn’t empty out the dryer lint!), you must be a nightmare to be around.

Hear me out on this: This might actually be a blessing in disguise. The best guys will like you for you, even when you’re greasy and filled with emotions. His first impression of you came way before actually asking you out, and he obviously liked what he saw. Chances are, he won’t be counting your pimples — he’s probably got his own insecurities that he’s nervous about.

 3. You’re ready to settle down with a guy but he starts taking you for granted.

All of your friends make fun of the fact that you ditch guys after two dates. You tell them that you’re just being choosy, but the truth is, you’re absolutely terrified of being someone’s girlfriend. Then you meet him. Something clicks, and commitment just feels right. Plus, you kind of want to ditch your bad reputation.

After doing the dorky “Want to be my girlfriend?” thing that guys often have to do, you suddenly realize that there’s been a shift in dates. Instead of taking care of the bill or splitting it, he’s forgetting his wallet during every dinner. He refuses to see the movies you want to see. He often leaves you hanging mid-text in the midst of making plans. He won you, so he stopped trying.

Even if you’re afraid of the mockery of your friend group, they’re not dating this loser. It’s common for a lot of guys to give up the romance after courting, but if you feel like your honeymoon stage has been cut short, it’s doubtful that it’ll rebound anytime soon. Cut your losses early, and thank the heavens that you didn’t emotionally invest too much in this guy. Remember, it’s not that you’re not girlfriend material — it’s the fact that you deserve to be respected and appreciated.

4. You find the perfect guy… then find his mugshot on Google.

Imagine how much tougher dating must have been before search engines existed. Thankfully, it’s super easy to avoid creeps and pervs on your blind date by doing a simple Google search. Of course, sometimes we’re filled with such lust that we think that there’s no way our new guy could be a petty candy thief. I mean, he’s a teacher! He molds young minds!

We need to view certain charges with an open mind. I mean, we’ve all done stuff while we were young and dumb. However, if it seems massive/involves children/involves assault of any kind, run as fast as you can. If the guy asks why you’re no longer interested, feel free to make up a lie that’s a bit easier to spout out than “I found out you did massive jail time, and I’m terrified for my life.”

5. You have an amazing job interview, but the position goes to a colleague you hate. 

In some fields, things can get pretty competitive. If a big job opens up, either at your company or at a competing company, there’s a good chance that everyone in your office will hear about the position. After three years of enduring a pay freeze, you’re really looking forward to moving up. After a pretty stellar interview, you hear the news — you didn’t get the spot, but the catty and terrible girl a few cubicles down did.

If it’s for a spot at a new company, hooray! You’ve naturally gotten rid of someone who made every day dreadful. But if it’s for a promotion at your current company, you might feel like life as you know it is over.

Here’s the good news. You’ve proven to yourself that you’re ready for change. Since it’s so easy to settle in at a job, it’s often hard to even think about wanting more. Being that you already jumped that hurdle, use this energy to find a new place to work. While every company has the uptight coworker that adds unnecessary drama, they don’t have higher-ups that overlooked your potential for this promotion. If they chose the girl who peruses Facebook for 8 hours a day over you, they have no clue how their business is run.

 6. You think he’s going to propose, but actually he wants to break up.

You thought this scenario only happened in movies, but surprise! It happened in real life. While you were scouting out rings and dresses, your guy was subtly freaking out about commitment. You figured he was being distant based on planning a romantic surprise, but the surprise turned out being pretty damn heartbreaking.

Instead of wallowing about your lost love, think of it as a blessing in disguise. After all, in breaking up with you, this guy is saying “I don’t think I can be faithful to you for the rest of my life.” If he truly feels that way, it’s best that it comes out now, as opposed to forcing him into something that’ll end up being a costly and hurtful nightmare later. No good marriage starts with an ultimatum. The right guy will be head over heels for the chance to marry you, and won’t have any weird hangups about the process.

(I mean, you can still eat a ton of ice cream for awhile, and cry your eyes out. Breaking up with someone you saw a future with is the worst. But trust me, this was for the best.)

Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has written for sites like LittleThings, Bustle, and Scary Mommy. When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz