How To Deal When Your BFF Blows You Off For A New Guy

We’re all guilty of taking a one-way trip to LaLa Land when we start dating a new guy. It’s exciting and all-encompassing and it’s easy to forget that you ever had a life before this amazing new man. It’s one thing when that happens to you and you’re living in that state of bliss, but when it happens to your bestie and you’re part of the life she seems to have temporarily forgotten, it can be frustrating and even hurtful. While it may feel like a major downer, there are ways to try to pull her back into reality and fun and exciting new ways to keep yourself occupied until she comes back down to Earth.

  1. Make an attempt to do something with them as a couple. She probably won’t want to leave his side if your BFF is in the early stages of a new relationship, so invite her new guy along, too. You’re going to need to get to know him at some point, so why not now? While you’re probably pining for some alone time, you probably won’t get it, so bringing him along for the night is a great compromise. Whether it’s a double date or you’re just a threesome, you’ll have a chance to vet her new man and get the QT you’ve been craving.
  2. Focus on your own dating life or relationship. There’s nothing like seeing a friend in love that makes you want that for yourself. If you’re in a long-term relationship, it might give you the desire to reinvigorate your own. If you’re single, it might give you that push you needed to get back into the dating game.
  3. Join a new group. Screw that “no new friends” talk. As much as you love your bestie, you can’t put all of your friendship eggs in one basket. Take a cooking class or find a local book club or join a tennis league. Do something that interests you, but make sure to do it in a social setting where you will meet new people who share those same interests. At some point, people grow apart. Hopefully this won’t happen to you and your BFF, but just in case, you need to create friendships with other people who have things in common with you and are also looking to expand their social circles.
  4. Do something scary you’ve been putting off. Have you always wanted to try surfing or learn French? Now that you aren’t spending 24/7 with your best friend, you have time to do something to enrich your own life. Doing it on your own will make you a stronger person and build your own confidence.
  5. Say something. It may seem impossible, but it is in fact possible that your bestie is totally oblivious to the fact that she’s been ignoring you. She’s so wrapped up in her new relationship that she might not realize how her actions are being perceived. Make sure to approach the subject delicately and tell her that you are so excited for her new-found happiness, but that you’re feeling a little left out. Chances are, she’ll realize that she’s been neglecting you and will start putting some effort back into your friendship.
  6. Force her to have a girl’s night out. Do NOT take no for an answer. Go to a fabulous dinner and sip some scrumptious cocktails and do all of the things you used to do when you were just two single girls on the town. She’ll remember how much fun the two of you have together and will probably want to make it a regular thing. She’ll also remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder and that a night away from her man is something she needs every once and a while.
  7. Re-focus your energy on your job. Our jobs can be so repetitive that it can be easy to go through the motions and do a “fine” job. Now that you aren’t meeting up to watch Bravo and drink wine with your best friend every night, it can be a good time to re-focus your energy on your career. Put in that extra effort that you know you don’t need to but do know will be appreciated.
  8. Take all of that “me” time you’ve been putting off. Whether it’s belated spring cleaning, going to the spa for a day, or changing up your hair-do, there’s no time like the present. Having your BFF preoccupied is a great opportunity for you to take care of you. Treat yo self!
  9. Take yourself on a solo weekend getaway. They say that you really get to know someone when you travel with them, so who better to travel with than yourself? You won’t have to succumb to anyone else’s itinerary and you can lay by the pool with that book you’ve wanted to read, uninterrupted, or visit every tourist attraction without someone asking if it’s time to leave yet. Solo vacations are a great way to learn to love spending time with yourself so you can enjoy the company of your friends without needing it.
  10. Pay attention to your other friendships. Your BFF is your BFF for a reason – but let’s face it, you’ve had other friends before her and you had other friends after you met her. Just because you didn’t click with those people the same way you clicked with your BFF at that time doesn’t mean you won’t now. You invested some effort and energy into them as friends so you clearly think they are good people worth your time. See if some of them are at the same place in life you are and you might just find you have a new bestie who’s been waiting for you the whole time.
Abby Stern grew up in New Orleans and is now an actress, screenwriter, and blogger (who isn't?) trying to keep it real in Los Angeles. She also writes for FabFitFun and contributes to various blogs detailing her unique perspective on dating and twenty-something life in Hollywood. Gwyneth Paltrow is her spirit animal and in her free time, Abby enjoys Bellinis and plotting to steal unattended Birkin bags. Follow her on Twitter: @abbystern