How to Deal With A Breakup Without Completely Falling Apart

Breakups are never easy. Some are worse than others, but when you decide to end a relationship you’ve spent a lot of time and effort on, it can feel like you’re starting your life over again. The adjustment will take time, but you are capable of getting through it, and coming out the other end stronger than you were before. It may not feel like it at the time, but as time passes, it will get easier. And you’re not alone.

  1. Let yourself be upset. It’s perfectly normal to be upset over a breakup. Even if you know logically it was for the best, it still hurts to lose someone you cared about.
  2. Put a time limit on the wallowing. Hanging out at home in your pjs, crying over every romantic movie you can find on Netflix, and pining after your lost relationship are necessary. But so is finding the willpower to continue on with your life. The longer you wallow, the harder it will be to stop, so make sure you put a firm time limit on the sulking.
  3. Don’t pretend to be okay when you aren’t. No one is expecting you to be good as new immediately. If you aren’t up to certain social functions right away then don’t force yourself to go. Everyone will understand if you’re M.I.A for a few weeks.
  4. Lean on your friends and family. Chances are you’ve been there for them in the past, so they’ll be more than willing to give you a shoulder to cry on if you need it. Everyone gets over a breakup in different ways, so don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.
  5. Cut off all contact (at least for awhile). The only way to get over the initial hump of a breakup is to go cold turkey. If you’re still spending time together and hanging around in each other’s lives, you’re just dragging out the inevitable and making it a million times harder in the long run.
  6. Take care of your health. Your emotions may be in rough shape, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect your body too. Exercise will help keep your spirits up, and distract you from all the junk food you want to be eating.
  7. Do things to cheer yourself up when you need to. If a new pair of shoes will help get you through a particularly long day, then go for it. Knowing yourself and what will give you a little boost will be the key to getting through the tough times.
  8. Spend time on your hobbies. Now is the perfect time to spend more energy on your own interests. Relationships tend to take up a lot of our spare time, especially when those relationships are on the rocks. You’ll have a lot more extra time now, so make sure to fill it with things you love to do.
  9. Don’t rush back into dating. Some people say a rebound is the perfect way to get over a breakup. While that may be true, you definitely need some time to get over your ex before you can really be ready for anything serious again. Go on some casual dates if you want, but don’t commit to anything just yet.
  10. Remember why you decided to break up. Try to focus on all the logical reasons why you ended your relationship. Remind yourself that even if you could get back together, you wouldn’t really want to. Knowing you made the right decision will make moving on a lot easier.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, Complex.ca and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo