Things were going so well between you and then suddenly, he disappeared without a trace. You were sure things were heading for a real relationship, but now he’s not answering your texts and you haven’t heard from him in days or maybe even weeks. Chances are, he’s not coming back. Here are some ways that you can deal with being ghosted and the feelings that go along with it.
- First of all, you did nothing wrong. Nothing justifies a guy just completely falling off the face of the earth without so much as a phone call. It’s not fair and you absolutely do not deserve to be treated like that. We often want to blame ourselves when someone ghosts us because seeing ourselves as the problem is a lot easier than trying to decipher the reason for his sudden split. Whatever the problem is here, it’s his.
- Don’t waste your time dwelling on it. As hard as it is, you’ve got to just forget him and move on. You could spend hours, days, weeks, months going over every detail of your relationship with a fine-toothed comb, trying to discover why he did this and why he felt the need to suddenly end all communication with you. You won’t ever figure it out and even if you could, it’s not going to make you feel any better.
- Block his number and social media. A key step in getting him out of your mind is to eliminate him from your line of view. Block him on all forms of social media. You don’t want to have to see his updates and pictures. Just get it off your phone. Also, delete his number from your phone so that you’re not tempted to call or text him. Go a step further even and block his number altogether. That way if he comes crawling back to you with some sad excuse for why he disappeared, you won’t even have to make that tough decision to stand your ground and shut him out.
- Have a girls night to ease the pain. Call up your girlfriends and get together for some wine and some girl talk. Swap stories, roast the jerk who decided to freeze you out, and relish in the fact that you’re not alone. So many of us have gone through and know how you’re feeling. Sometimes the best way to heal from a painful breakup is to find comfort in your girls.
- Don’t be afraid to get back out there. Dating immediately after a breakup can be difficult and it isn’t always the best thing to do but when you’re ghosted. However, if you feel up to it, don’t be afraid to jump right back on those dating apps or let your friend set you up with a single hottie she knows. You are a gem and the fact that he couldn’t see that is his loss. Don’t give up on love!
- Don’t let the experience sour you on men. You deserve a wonderful, fulfilling relationship just as much as anyone else, and the worst thing that you could do is let one idiot ruin your chances of finding love with someone else. Everyone hates that phrase “there are plenty of fish in the sea,” but there really are a lot of other amazing people out there and you would be doing yourself a serious disservice if you didn’t allow yourself to at least be open to finding someone new.
- Remember how it feels so that you’ll never go through it again. I know that ghosting happens suddenly and without warning so it’s nearly impossible to see it coming, but what you are in control of is how you handle it afterward. It’s okay to be upset, it’s okay to cry, but remember the feeling and then remember that he is so not worth your tears and brush him right off your shoulder. Easier said than done, I know, but you can do it.
- Make sure you’re never the guilty party. Ghosting is such a cowardly move, so just make sure that no matter what, you never do it to someone. You know how bad it feels when someone cuts you off with no explanation and then leaves you wondering for God knows how long about what went wrong and if there was something you could have done to change their mind. If you’re seeing or talking to someone and things just aren’t working out, do them the courtesy of telling them to their face that you think your relationship should end.