How To Deal With Difficult People Without Losing Your Mind

How To Deal With Difficult People Without Losing Your Mind

We all know those folks who drain our energy and leave us feeling frustrated. Maybe it’s a coworker who constantly complains, a family member who always criticizes, or a friend who’s perpetually negative. Dealing with difficult people can be a real challenge, but it’s possible to navigate those tricky interactions without losing your cool (or your mind!).

1. Remember that it’s not about you.

It’s easy to take things personally, especially when someone’s behavior seems directed at you. But remember, difficult people often act out due to their own issues and insecurities. Take a step back and remind yourself that their behavior is not a reflection of your worth.

2. Set healthy boundaries.

annoyed woman texting in bed

Don’t be afraid to say no or walk away from a conversation that’s becoming toxic. It’s okay to protect your own energy and well-being. Establish clear boundaries with the difficult person and communicate them firmly but politely, Psych Central advises.

3. Practice active listening.

two women having an annoying conversation

Sometimes, people just need to be heard. Give them your full attention, listen without interrupting, and try to understand their perspective. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it can help de-escalate a tense situation.

4. Choose your battles wisely.

Not every disagreement needs to be a fight. Ask yourself if the issue is truly worth getting upset over. If it’s something minor, consider letting it go. Save your energy for the things that truly matter.

5. Don’t stoop to their level.

Responding with anger or negativity will only fuel the fire. Take a deep breath, stay calm, and respond in a respectful manner. Remember, you can’t control their behavior, but you can control your own.

6. Find common ground.

Even if you disagree on many things, try to find areas where you can connect. This can help build rapport and make future interactions smoother. Maybe you both love a certain sports team, share a hobby, or enjoy the same type of food.

7. Use humor to defuse tension.

A well-timed joke or lighthearted remark can sometimes break the ice and ease tension. Humor can be a powerful tool for diffusing difficult situations and making interactions more pleasant.

8. Get some support and encouragement from other people.

Don’t hesitate to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your experiences. Sharing your frustrations with someone who cares can help you process your emotions and gain valuable perspective.

9. Focus on solutions, not blame.

Instead of dwelling on the problem or trying to assign blame, shift your focus to finding solutions. Collaborate with the difficult person to brainstorm possible ways to resolve the issue. This can help turn a negative situation into a productive one.

10. Don’t expect them to change overnight.

man and woman with coffee talking outside

People don’t change easily, and it’s unrealistic to expect someone to completely transform their behavior overnight. Be patient and consistent in your approach. It may take time and effort, but your positive influence can eventually make a difference.

11. Know when to walk away.

older businessman talking down to female employee

If a situation becomes too toxic or draining, it’s okay to walk away. You don’t have to tolerate abuse or negativity. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your own well-being is to distance yourself from the difficult person.

12. Take care of yourself.

Resentful colleagues looking away from each other because of misunderstanding. Unhappy business people being

Dealing with difficult people can be emotionally taxing. Make sure you’re prioritizing self-care. Get enough sleep, eat nutritious food, exercise regularly, and engage in activities that bring you joy. A healthy mind and body are better equipped to handle challenging situations.

13. Learn from the experience.

male and female colleague chatting in office

Every interaction with a difficult person is an opportunity for growth, BetterUp notes. Reflect on what you’ve learned from the experience. What could you have done differently? How can you better handle similar situations in the future? By learning from your interactions, you can become more resilient and better equipped to deal with difficult people.

14. Remember, you’re not alone.

colleagues enjoying coffee in break room

Everyone encounters difficult people at some point in their lives. Don’t be afraid to seek support from others. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your experiences. They can offer a listening ear, provide valuable advice, and remind you that you’re not alone in this.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.