You’ve found an amazing new partner and things are going well between you, but there’s this nagging feeling in the back of your mind that something’s going to go wrong. They’re going to decide they don’t like you, they’re going to cheat on you, they’re going to get sick of you and leave you. Sound familiar? Here’s how to deal with relationship anxiety so that you can enjoy living in the moment and avoid creating problems that aren’t there.
- Figure out what’s making you feel anxious. The first step towards solving any issue is to identify what exactly the issue is in the first place. Get to the root of what’s causing your anxiety by being open and honest with yourself and your partner. Were you cheated on before, leading to trust issues? Did you feel neglected by your parents growing up and therefore assume the same will happen in your romantic relationships? Figuring out where your feelings come from will go a long way in helping you resolve them.
- Acknowledge your feelings and be honest about them. There’s no sense denying the fact that you’re feeling anxious in your relationship or trying to bottle it up – that will only lead to worse explosions down the line. If you want to be able to confront those destructive feelings and overcome them, it’s first important to acknowledge them and be honest both with yourself and your partner about how you’re feeling.
- Learn to self-soothe. While it’s incredibly important to speak to your partner about concerns you might have, after a while, it’s down to you to address your issues. If your partner has been more than understanding and accommodating and gone out of their way to assure you that everything is good (and their behavior mirrors that), then any lingering, nagging feelings you might have are your responsibility to resolve. When your relationship anxiety crops up, acknowledge it, feel it, and then learn how to work through it in your own head and heart so that it doesn’t control you.
- Build trust with your partner. One of the best ways to deal with relationship anxiety is to ensure you and your partner have a strong foundation of trust. If you can trust your partner to have your best interests at heart at all times, then it suddenly makes much less sense to hold onto anxieties about what might go wrong/how they might screw you over. Work hard on building a mutual sense of trust in each other and you’ll be golden.
- If all else fails, seek professional help. If you’ve tried to above steps and you’re still struggling, the best thing you can do is to reach out to a licensed therapist or counselor to help you work through these issues in a constructive way and in a safe environment. There’s no shame in needing or seeking help, so feel confident in doing so if you need it.
