The ideal man is sweet, he’s attentive, he texts you when he wakes up and before he goes to bed, and he asks you about your day. He invites you to meet his family, he suggests you go on a city break together, and he’s basically ready to make you his girlfriend. The problem? It’s only been a couple of weeks and you didn’t think you were in an official relationship so soon. Yikes!
- Could you date him? He’s basically offering you the world on a plate and yet internally, everything is flashing red, the alarm bells are ringing, and you’re ready to RUN. But what if all isn’t lost? Take a minute and pause to consider: don’t we all want a man who wants to be there for us, who falls head over heels for us, and who feels that instant connection? Can you blame him? I mean, you are pretty great after all. Maybe it could work out… No? Well, at least you considered it.
- You have three options for ending things. You can call him, text him, or tell him to his face that it’s not going to work. Which method you use depends on the situation and only you know that intimately. When dumping the man you didn’t know you were dating, there’s a careful to strike between cushioning the blow and being very clear that it’s over. If it’s not too awkward, it’s good to tell him to his face. Barring that, a text might be your best option, especially since you barely know each other.
- Honesty is (not) always the best policy. My mom always said that if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all, and this situation is a prime example of that. What good would it do to tell this guy that he’s way too intense and that he probably needs to tone it down with whoever he dates in future? None.
- Nice girls don’t ghost. Through the rise of dating apps, we’ve been given unprecedented access to more people than previous generations could even imagine. Gone are the days of hoping your friend has a cute brother, that the guy in the fruit and veg aisle will ask for your number while you’re reaching for some tomatoes, or the idea that we could meet anyone in real life is like believing in unicorns. The lack of connection to the guys we date means that there’s a lack of consequence. After all, you aren’t going to run into him at a birthday party or a work function, so when it comes to calling it off, disappearing without a trace is a very real and easy option. But remember that while he isn’t going to be your boyfriend, he has feelings and those feelings are clearly very real. Say something.
- Get to blocking. So you’ve dealt the final blow and now it’s time to move swiftly on. So begins “Operation Block.” Block his number. Block him on Facebook. Block him on Instagram. Don’t like his posts, don’t watch his story, and don’t keep up to date with what he’s doing. It isn’t fair on him and while it’s up to you who you are sharing your world with and it’s tempting to ensure that everyone can see that you are #LivingYourBestLife, it isn’t worth it.
- If you see him again, don’t panic. It’s a truth universally acknowledged that when you leave the house looking like you haven’t brushed your hair in weeks, you’re in activewear even though you’re going nowhere near a gym, and you’re embracing your natural face and lack of eyebrows, you always run into people you used to date. If you see him walking down the street, smile, nod, start stretching, put that active wear to good use, and run like the wind.
- Time to move on. It’s okay that this one didn’t work out. There will be another guy, someone who wants to do all those “ideal boyfriend” hings for you and you will want to do the same for him. Don’t settle for the guy who offers you the world if it’s not a world you want to be a part of.