Breakups are never easy, we all know that. However, more often than not, when they happen, it’s for the best. That being said, it can be difficult to say goodbye to someone you still care about when you know things just aren’t going to work out. Here’s how to end a relationship on good terms so that you can move forward knowing that you handled things the right way and didn’t burn any bridges on the way out.
Be honest but kind. If you want to end a relationship on good terms, honesty is key. You need to tell your soon-to-be ex-partner how you feel and why you’re breaking up with them. However, avoid going into too much detail beyond the necessary. Your aim is to make it clear where you stand but to deliver the news with kindness and respect. If you’ve met someone else or you simply don’t find them attractive anymore, keep it to yourself. You don’t want to rub salt into the wound.
Avoid aiming below the belt. A breakup is not the time to start slinging accusations or insults at your partner. You shouldn’t be listing the things you don’t like about them or reminding them of everything they’ve done wrong. Does it even matter anymore? Soon you won’t be together anymore, so it won’t help anyone to make cheap shots. You don’t need to talk your partner down to walk away.
Have the decency to end things in person. Whatever you do, please don’t end a relationship via text, email, or over the phone. You owe it to your relationship and your partner to have the conversation in person. No matter how hard or awkward it is, please don’t even consider breaking the news another way if you want to leave things on good terms.
Don’t give in to arguments. If you’re ready to walk away but your partner isn’t, they may become combative and tell you that you belong together. They may promise they’ll change or “remind” you of all the things you did wrong to make you feel like you’re both at fault and could still work on your relationship together. Stay resolute. You know you’re walking away for the right reasons, so stick to your guns.
Give yourself time to grieve. Whether or not you know things aren’t meant to be, you’re still likely to grieve the loss of your relationship. Do yourself and your new ex a favor and don’t try to pretend that you really couldn’t care less or worse, that you’re happy to be moving on without them. Let yourself grieve and acknowledge that it sucks to have loved and lost.
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