How To Ensure You’re Priority In This Life, Not Just An Option

While you should never expect a guy to make you his whole world, you at least deserve to be a priority in his life if you’re dating. What does that mean? Regular dates, getting in touch when he says he will, and generally being consistent in his treatment of you. If you want to ensure he places you high on the list instead of considering you an option for when he has nothing better going on, here’s what you need to do.

  1. Develop a real connection with him. It goes without saying that you’ll never be a priority in his life if you don’t have a real connection with him. If he claims that he wants to be in a relationship, then he’s going to want someone he meshes well with and with whom he really feels comfortable and close. Instead of focusing your efforts on getting him to see you as #1, you’re better off concentrating on truly getting to know one another and establishing a connection.
  2. Don’t be available every time he wants to hang out. I’m not saying you should claim you’re busy when he asks you to hang out – you should actually have other things to do and not be waiting by your phone for him to get in touch. Having your own life and doing your own thing shows him that you definitely don’t need him and that your life isn’t on pause until he gets his act together. If he likes you, he’s much more likely to make you a priority if he realizes that you have other stuff going on.
  3. Stay open to other options. While you shouldn’t be going out of your way trying to make him jealous by chatting to/dating other guys, you should remain in a headspace in which you could potentially entertain other guys if this one isn’t up to the task of dating you properly. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, as they say, so don’t get too caught up on this one too soon.
  4. Make your desires and expectations clear. If you want a guy to make you a priority, you need to speak up and tell him. Let him know frankly that you’re looking for someone who is consistently present and interested you and that if he’s not, that’s fine but you won’t be sticking around. You can’t get mad at him for not doing something you never asked for, right?
  5. Don’t be afraid to walk away. At the end of the day, he may not be in a place where he can make you (or a relationship in general) a priority or he simply might not want to. If that’s the case, be okay with walking away from him altogether. If he knows that you’re not afraid to leave him behind, he’ll step up to the plate if he doesn’t want to lose you.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia
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