Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but if you’re consistently feeling trapped in a cycle of misery, it might be time for a change. While you may think a happier life is about adding more to your plate, it’s actually the opposite: letting go of harmful habits and thought patterns. Let’s look at some things you need to stop doing if you want to break free from a life of misery.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
We know this is hard when TikTok and Instagram are calling your name. But remember, you’re seeing everyone’s highlight reel, not their behind-the-scenes struggles. Your journey is unique, so focus on your own progress instead of measuring yourself against others. Next time you catch yourself scrolling—or doomscrolling according to The New York Times—and feeling bad about yourself, put down the phone and list three things you’re grateful for in your own life. Cheesy but it works.
2. Quit the negative self-talk
That little voice in your head can be your worst enemy if you let it. Constantly berating yourself for every little mistake or what you think is a flaw is a surefire way to stay miserable. Challenge those negative thoughts. Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? If not, it’s time to show yourself some compassion.
3. Stop putting off your dreams
“Someday” is a dangerous word. It’s easy to postpone your desires, thinking you’ll get to them when the time is just right. But here’s the truth: there’s never a perfect time. Whether it’s writing that book, starting a business, or learning a new skill, take one small step toward your dreams today. Future you will thank you for it.
4. Ditch the victim mentality
Life can deal us some tough hands, no doubt about it. But, according to Healthline, constantly seeing yourself as a victim of circumstances robs you of your power to change things. Instead of asking “Why me?”, try asking “What can I learn from this?” or “How can I improve this situation?” You might be surprised at the solutions you come up with when you shift your perspective.
5. Stop trying to please everyone
Alert the media: You can’t make everyone happy, and trying to do so is a recipe for misery. It’s time to prioritize your own well-being. Set boundaries, learn to say no, and remember that “No” is a complete sentence. You don’t always need to explain or justify your decisions.
6. Don’t hold onto grudges
It’s cliché, but it’s true—harboring resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. It only hurts you in the long run. Let go of past hurts, not for the other person’s sake, but for your own peace of mind. This doesn’t mean you have to forgive and forget, but rather choose to release the negative emotions associated with the event.
7. Stop neglecting your health
Your physical health has a huge impact on your mental well-being. Skipping meals, not getting enough sleep, and avoiding exercise might seem like small things, but they can contribute significantly to feelings of misery. Start small! Maybe aim for an extra hour of sleep or a 10-minute walk each day.
8. Cool it with the perfectionism
Striving for excellence is great and all, but perfectionism can be paralyzing. It can stop you from starting projects, finishing tasks, or sharing your work with the world. Remember, done is better than perfect. Embrace the concept of “good enough” and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
9. Stop living in the past
Whether you’re romanticizing “the good old days” or dwelling on past mistakes, living in the past keeps you from fully experiencing and appreciating the present. Acknowledge your history, learn from it, but don’t let it define your future. Practice mindfulness to ground yourself.
10. Quit toxic relationships
If you’re surrounded by negative, unsupportive people, it’s time for a friend audit—after all, you are the company you keep. It’s not about cutting people off dramatically, but about consciously choosing to spend more time with the people who bring you up, not down.
11. Stop ignoring your finances
We wouldn’t wish money worries on anyone. But burying your head in the sand when things get tight? That’s only making things worse. Create a budget, start saving (even if it’s just a little), and educate yourself about personal finance. This peace of mind can do wonders for making you not so “le mis.”
12. Enough with the excuses
“I’m too old,” “I don’t have time,” “I’m not talented enough”—do any of these sound familiar? Excuses are just fear in disguise. They keep you stuck in your comfort zone and prevent you from growing. Challenge yourself to replace “I can’t” with “How can I?” You might be surprised at what happens when you stop making excuses.
13. Stop waiting for happiness
If you’re constantly thinking “I’ll be happy when…”, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Happiness isn’t a destination and honey, you really need to learn to find joy in the good things. That might be a good cup of coffee, a beautiful sunset, or a laugh with a friend. Whatever it is, cultivating gratitude for what you have is key to escaping misery.
14. Quit avoiding difficult conversations
Sweeping issues under the rug might seem easier in the short term, but it leads to resentment and misunderstandings in the long run. Whether it’s with a partner, friend, or colleague, learn to address problems head-on. It might be uncomfortable at first, but clear communication is essential for your peace of mind.
15. Stop taking life so seriously
Last but not least, lighten up! Life is too short to be serious all the time. Learn to laugh at yourself, find humor in difficult situations, and don’t be afraid to be silly sometimes. Play, creativity, and laughter are powerful antidotes to misery.
