Igniting that spark back into your relationship can be a challenge once it fades, but if you’re with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with (or at least a very large portion of it), it’s worth it. If you’ve found yourself in a situation relationship in which you’ve grown apart, here’s how to fall back in love and reignite the flame that brought you together in the first place.
- Do something fun and adventurous together. Creating fun memories is a good way to bring a spark into your relationship. Fun memories outweigh the bad ones in the long run, so the more good times you have together, the easier they’ll spring to mind when the going gets tough and give you the strength to keep going. Laughter makes couples connect and keeps the relationship feeling happy and healthy. It also increases the intimacy in your relationship because it makes you both feel playful, which encourages more affection.
- Remember why you fell in love in the first place. After years of being in the same relationship, it’s so easy to forget why you initially fell in love with your partner. This is because people change and grow over time. The more time you spend with a person, the more you discover what you don’t like about them. In some relationships, the dislikes override the likes. To keep your relationship strong, you need to focus on the qualities they have that you’re drawn to and that you appreciate. Remembering why you fell in love is a quick way to bring back a spark in your relationship and will instantly make you smile.
- Let go of expectations. It’s so easy to compare your relationship or your partner to your friends’ relationships and partners. You end up having expectations of what someone should and shouldn’t do when that really may not apply to your situation at all. Unless you’ve communicated a certain number of needs and desires and your partner makes it clear that they’re happy to oblige, you’re probably going to be left feeling disappointed. When you let go of expectations, it takes the stress off the relationship and it gives you mental clarity to love them for who they are in this present time instead of waiting to love them for who they could be.
- Communicate why you’ve been feeling disconnected. Good communication is the breakthrough all couples need when their relationship is in trouble. Explaining why you feel disconnected will probably relieve your partner because he’ll no longer have to guess what’s been bothering you. Also, once the problems in the relationship are out there in the open, the relationship is easier to fix. If your partner is willing to work with you to resolve the issue in your relationship, slowly but surely the relationship will feel light and new.
- Spend some time apart. Sometimes distance makes people appreciate one another a little bit more. A little time apart will give clarity about your relationship. Spending time apart is a good way to give your relationship a fresh start. After spending some time apart, begin to date again like you did in the beginning so you fall back in love but with the new version of your partner. Couples usually fall out of love when they’re hanging on to the person they used to know rather than who their S.O. is now.
- Bring more passion into the relationship. Passion makes a relationship feel more fun and sensual. No one can be bored in a relationship if it’s fueled by passion. Massages, special dinners, spontaneous acts of affection, and more sex will get your partner’s attention. Your partner will probably feel more reassured in the relationship, so much so he’ll start going above and beyond to keep things hot and heavy too.
- Spend quality time together without tech. Tech has become part of everyone’s daily lives, but sometimes it can interfere without them even realizing it. When you spend time with someone while being on the phone or watching a film, you’re spending time with them, sure, but it’s not quality time with them. Quality time with your partner is an opportunity to reconnect. Without that, things between you will fall apart.
- Work on personal development together. The spark in relationships usually fades when you’ve grown apart. When couples work on bettering themselves together, it brings them closer together because they’re working towards the same goals. The positive growth that couples experience as individuals will help their relationship feel more positive as a whole. Personal development helps couples recognize habits they have that could put their relationship in jeopardy. Working on yourself also gives you more confidence and it makes you feel happier because you’re making your needs and happiness a priority.