There’s no relationship more important than the one you have with yourself. Despite this, most people struggle with self-love even though they’ve mastered the art of loving others. Falling in love with yourself may seem unnatural or pointless, but it’s actually the best way you could ever invest your time. Self-love leads to more confidence, more success, and more happiness. Here’s how to achieve it once and for all.
- Keep a list of your achievements. It’s easier to love yourself when you’ve got some proof that you’re amazing. Not that you need to have a list of impressive tangible achievements to be loveable. But when you’re struggling with your self-worth, standing back and looking at the bigger picture like this really helps. Whatever you’ve accomplished in life, from graduating high school to getting a job to ticking destinations off your bucket list, note it down. Anything that you’re proud of counts, regardless of how other people feel about it. Look at that list once a day until you grasp how awesome you actually are.
- Remember your strengths. Next to your list of accomplishments, keep a list of your strengths. These are the things you know you’re good at. Think everything from unique skills to personality traits to looks—whatever you’ve got going for you. It might be that you’re a good listener, good with numbers, or can make people laugh. If you don’t know what your strengths are, there are plenty of online tests you can take to tell you. Reflect on those positive attributes when you need a reminder to love yourself.
- Take care of your health. Looking after your mental and physical health is a huge part of falling in love with yourself. Not only will self-care remind you that you’re deserving of love, but you’ll realize how good it feels to care for yourself and want to keep doing it. While looking after your physical health includes eating nutritious foods, getting enough exercise, and getting enough rest, self-care at a mental level might include regular meditation sessions, venting into a diary, or talking to a therapist.
- Stand up for yourself. People who love themselves tend to stand up for themselves. They set boundaries and demand respect, just like they would for their best friend. Standing up for yourself when people try to tear you down is a clear act of self-love. It reinforces that you are worthy of being loved, which will help you to actually start feeling that love for real.
- Change the way you talk to yourself. If you’re going to fall in love with yourself, you must change the way you talk to yourself. Lots of us are guilty of negative self-talk and don’t even realize we’re doing it! Start by paying attention to everything you say to yourself. Call out anything that is harmful or untrue. While you can’t stop those negative thoughts from flowing, it’s your choice whether you take them seriously or not.
- Maintain only healthy relationships. It’s much easier to love yourself when you’re hanging out with people who make you feel loveable. Spend time with people who lift you up and limit or cut out time with anyone who doesn’t. Your friends should be your biggest supporters, and the love that flows from them will naturally come to you. The more you socialize with people who value you, the more you’ll come to value yourself.
- Forgive your mistakes. We all make mistakes. The errors we make throughout our lives are purely a result of our human condition, and they shouldn’t come between us and self-love. You’re not unworthy of love because you’ve screwed up in the past. If you’ve made some big mistakes, work on forgiving yourself. Remember that you’re changing and evolving all the time. The mistakes you made in the past aren’t necessarily a reflection of who you are now.
- Stop comparing yourself to your friends. Comparison is a thief of not only joy but self-love too. When you scroll through Instagram and see that other people have things you don’t, you might feel like there’s something wrong with you. You might resent yourself or feel like you don’t deserve love. And nothing could be further from the truth! Try to stop comparing yourself to others and remember that everyone is on their own journey. It also helps to remember that most of what people show you on social media is rehearsed, embellished, or just plain fake.
- Find some positive role models. Rather than dwelling on the people who seem to have it better than you, find some positive role models. Look for people who love themselves as an example that you can follow. Start following role models who prove that you don’t need to be X or Y before you’re lovable. Fill your social media feed with people who make you feel worthy of love and who guide you towards that love.