How To Find Your Soulmate

Finding your soulmate is the ultimate life goal of many people. And while some believe that this comes down to fate more than anything, the formula to finding your soulmate really isn’t that difficult. Like most things, it begins with self-love. Keep reading for a few simple steps that you can take to increase your chances of finding your soulmate.

  1. Love yourself and be yourself. As cliched as this advice may sound, it’s the most important thing to take on board if you want to find your soulmate. Loving yourself is important because the relationship you have with yourself sets the foundation for the other relationships you have in your life. If you don’t treat yourself well, that’s the example you set for other people around you. As far as being yourself goes, it’s always tempting to pretend to be someone you think is cooler or more interesting. But you can only keep up those pretences for so long. By being yourself, you’ll filter out a lot of people, but you’ll be left with the person who is right for you.
  2. Find what makes you happy and include it in your life. When most people think of meeting their soulmate, they immediately feel like they have to go to a bar, a party, or a club because those are the places where people meet. But if you don’t enjoy those kinds of places normally, why would you find someone who is compatible with you there? Instead, you should go to places that reflect the things you love to do because you’ll have a higher chance of meeting like-minded people there. Think joining a gym if you love exercise or taking an art class if that’s one of your passions.
  3. Develop other goals to aim for. It’s hard to attract your soulmate when you give off a desperate vibe. When meeting your soulmate is the only thing you care about, it’s easy to slip into feeling and acting desperate. So make sure that you have other goals that are important to you. Pursuing other ambitions, whether at work, or in your personal life, can also put you in the path of like-minded people that may lead you to your soulmate faster.
  4. Meet your own needs. A soulmate can change your life but they don’t totally rescue you. In the real world, you have to rescue yourself by meeting your own needs. If you’re independent and taking care of yourself, you’re more likely to attract the kind of person who will be your equal. On the other hand, if you’re waiting for someone to swoop in and look after you, you’re giving that person a huge amount of power that they may abuse.
  5. Figure out what you want and don’t want. It’s super important to figure out what you want and what you don’t want when looking for your soulmate. Otherwise, the right person might come along and you might not even realize because you can’t recognize the traits about them that you would like. Similarly, you might spend too much time on the wrong person because you don’t realize that they’re not for you. The best way to get clear on this is to go on a lot of dates. Get real-life experience and see how you react to different people. Then you can decipher what your dealbreakers are and what you’re really looking for.
  6. Heal your past trauma. To be clear, you don’t have to be totally healed in order to find your soulmate. Healing can be a life-long process. But if you’ve got trauma, baggage, or past experiences that are getting in the way of your everyday life, then there’s a chance they’re also getting in the way of your love life. It can help to start tackling those issues, either with the support of loved ones, by yourself, or with a licensed therapist. That way, it’ll be easier for you to move on to your soulmate.
  7. Stay open-minded. When finding your soulmate, you have to be open-minded. That is, give people chances and give feelings time to grow without immediately writing someone off. Now, if you know in your heart that someone isn’t right for you after one date, fine. But if things are grey or not clear, give it a chance. For most people, love is something that blooms and the right person might not be totally clear from the beginning.
  8. Follow your gut instincts. Ultimately, no one knows what you need like you do. That goes for soulmates as well as everything else in your life. Trust your gut instincts to lead you to that person. As mentioned, it helps to be open-minded and give people chances. But if you get bad vibes from someone and don’t want to give them another chance, trust that feeling.
  9. Release unrealistic ideas. Part of getting clear on what you like and dislike in a partner is releasing unrealistic ideas. You might like the idea of dating a millionaire, but is this really important to you or is it an unrealistic standard? Sit down and work out what really matters and what you might have been too picky about in the past. Because soulmates are wonderful and life-changing but they’re not perfect. Life would be pretty boring if they were!
  10. Remove the wrong people from your life. Finally, when trying to find your soulmate, remove anyone from your life who may hinder that goal. Get rid of friends or family who plant limiting beliefs about love in your head. And get rid of frenemies who want you to be as miserable as them. Cut the cord and free up space for a soulmate in your life.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.