How To Find Yourself Again After A Breakup And Reclaim Your Life

When you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s easy to become so wrapped up in the life you create as a couple that when it ends, you’re completely lost and have no idea what to do with yourself. If you end up in that situation and are unsure how to proceed, I’ve got your back. Here’s how to find yourself after a breakup and get the life you used to love back again, this time sans your ex.

  1. Take yourself on a trip, if possible. I say this understanding that not everyone has the time or financial means to take even a mini-getaway. However, if this is feasible for you, I can’t recommend it enough. It’s one of the best ways to find yourself again after a breakup as it gets you out of your own head and out into the world. You get to be the purest version of yourself while interacting with new people and new places. It will remind you of how strong and special you are. Do this.
  2. Meditate. If you’ve never meditated before, don’t knock it until you try it. Even adopting this ritual for five minutes a day can make a major difference to your mental health and well-being as well as help you find yourself again after your breakup. It gives you time to sit, breathe, and clear your mind while connecting with the deepest parts of your heart and soul.
  3. Start journaling if you don’t already. There’s a lot to be said for the power of writing your feelings down. First of all, this means you won’t be tempted to reach out to your ex and embarrass yourself/get back into a bad situation. Plus, it lets you actually get your real emotions out of you without needing to censor yourself or word things differently so you don’t hurt anyone else’s feelings. Taking the time to connect with yourself in this way is vital.
  4. Spend time with the people who know you the best. This is probably one of the most obvious ways to find yourself again after a breakup. There’s nothing quite like spending quality time with the people who have known you for years to remind you of who that incredible woman is and why she deserves to be happy. This is especially important if you kind of let these relationships fall by the wayside while you were coupled up – you have some amends to make!
  5. Discover some new hobbies and interests. Maybe the version of yourself you’re about to find again will be someone new to you, and that’s okay. You’re meant to grow and evolve over time, and trying out some new hobbies and pastimes will help with that majorly. Take a language class, join a book club, or maybe even use that gym membership you’ve been paying for the past two years but have never used. You never know what might come of it.
Jennifer has been the managing editor of Bolde since its launch in 2014. Before that, she was the founding editor of HelloGiggles and also worked as an entertainment writer for Bustle and Digital Spy. Her work has been published in Bon Appetit, Decider, Vanity Fair, The New York TImes, and many more.