How To Flirt By Touch And Use Your Body Language To Seduce Someone

When you’re trying to seduce someone into bed, words can only do so much. In fact, some experts suggest that body language accounts for 93% of communication, especially where emotion is concerned. If you’re trying to seduce someone, here’s how to do it with a few tips to up your non-verbal game.

  1. Touch their arm. Being subtle when flirting is key. If you come on too strong, you’ll look clumsy and over-eager and end up driving down your chances of achieving your goal. A brief touch on the arm is a perfect example of how subtlety can drive a person nuts. Not only will they be left guessing whether or not you meant it as an intimate gesture, but they will also experience a “significantly elevated” heart rate and increased desire if the context is right.
  2. “Accidentally” brush their leg. Touching can be tricky, especially if you take it too far and risk looking like a creep, or worse. But if you’re with someone you already know, an “accidental” brush or two of their leg can make the temperature of your interaction skyrocket. It’s a much more intimate place than their arm, especially if you’re moving to thigh territory, and if done discretely, it can make them go absolutely wild for you.
  3. Let your gaze linger. Maintaining eye contact for an extended period of time is so powerful it’s almost scary. Studies have shown that strangers who hold uninterrupted eye contact for two minutes experience “increased feelings of passionate love for each other.” While it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to gaze into the eyes of your crush for a full two minutes without things getting awkward, shorter periods of uninterrupted eye contact release the “feel good” hormone oxytocin and therefore create a sense of warmth and connection.
  4. Bite your lip. Doing this without looking like a parody of a person flirting can be challenging, but if you can pull it off, you will have mastered one of the most seductive tools of body language flirting. Biting your lip is effective for many reasons. Lips are inherently sexual, so drawing attention to them will increase your crush’s fixation on their physical desire for you. Biting your lip also signals that you’re withholding something. The combination of the eroticism of lips and the mysteriousness of repressing information make lip biting irresistible.
  5. Lean in. Leaning in is a definite sign that you’re interested. It shows that you want to create your own little world with that person and focus on the conversation. It should only come at the right time, however. Instantly moving into someone’s personal space can have the opposite effect of creating closeness. Wait until the two of you have been talking for a little while, and take it slowly.
  6. Us open body language. Studies show that taking an “expansive” rather than “contractive” posture increases physical attraction, regardless of gender. Examples include turning your body towards the other person, standing with your shoulders back, adopting a wide stance, and generally taking up as much space as possible (within reason). Doing this implies confidence and power, which are some of the sexiest qualities a person can have.
  7. Don’t cross your arms. While arm crossing is a standard position to take in many circumstances, it is a prime example of the “contractive” posture that sabotages seduction. Crossing your arms can signal several things, none of which are helpful when you’re trying to flirt with someone. It suggests you’re closed off, uncomfortable, or just plain bored. If you want to signal to someone that you’re interested, do whatever you have to do to avoid this counterproductive posture.
  8. Toss and play with your hair. There are several reasons why hair movement is seductive. On a basic level, it highlights a feature that many people find attractive–there’s a reason that women are often identified solely by their (“the blonde,” or “the brunette standing over there”). It also appeals to a more animalistic level of the brain. Playing with or tossing your hair is a grooming behavior that signals you are preparing your appearance for a mate. It also releases pheromones, a hormone that increases sexual attraction.
  9. Touch their lower back. Touching someone’s lower back is a sign of confidence and familiarity. It’s a combination of the “expansive” body language mentioned above, and the intimacy of a light touch on the leg. Putting your hand on the small of someone’s back when you move from one area to another is a way to demonstrate connection. You’re signaling a desire for physical intimacy with the person, and signalling to everyone else that you are “together.”
  10. Tilt your head. Looking at someone straight on may make you look like you’re taking the interaction seriously while tilting your head suggests playful flirtation, almost a challenge to the other person to join your game. Flirting is all about being coy and suggestive. Tilting your head is a subtle way to show that you’re ready to have fun with the other person, as long as they’re ready to play along.
Rose Nolan is a writer and editor from Austin, TX who focuses on all things female and fabulous. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Theater from the University of Surrey and a Master's Degree in Law from the University of Law. She’s been writing professional since 2015 and, in addition to her work for Bolde, she’s also written for Ranker and Mashed. She's published articles on topics ranging from travel, higher education, women's lifestyle, law, food, celebrities, and more.