How To Flirt With A Guy When You Feel Awkward AF

Flirting is definitely not as easy as some people make it look. It requires skill, prowess, a great sense of humor, but also the ability to make it look like you’re not trying at all. So, how do you deal when you feel like you’re super awkward and weird and have no chance of owning the game without looking like an idiot? Below are a few things that might help you figure out how to flirt without wanting to be swallowed up by a giant hole in the ground.

  1. Talk about things that make you happy. Pretending to be into something that you’re not is such a waste of your time. When you talk about things that you’re passionate about or that bring you joy, it gives you more confidence and enthusiasm. People are naturally drawn to those who are self-assured. Try talking to him about things that make you happy and hopefully you’ll find some common ground while also feeling more comfortable.
  2. Stop worrying about how you look. It can be pretty painfully obvious when someone is worried about the way they look. I promise you that if the guy has approached you and has struck up a conversation with you, he definitely finds you attractive regardless of your outfit, hair, or whether or not you’re wearing makeup. Try not to fiddle with your hair or your clothes. When you feel self-conscious, it shows. Not only that, it can pull you out of the moment and take away from the fun you could be having.
  3. Eye contact is essential. It can be hard if you’re feeling nervous, but do everything you can to maintain eye contact with him while you’re speaking and listening to him talk. If you look away or down while you’re listening, it can seem like you’re not paying attention or you’re bored. If you look away while you’re speaking, it just looks weird or like you’re confused. Practice making direct eye contact with everyone you encounter throughout your normal day-to-day routine and it’ll start to become second nature and you won’t have so much difficulty during flirtatious encounters.
  4. Don’t be afraid to be funny. Sometimes nerves can get the best of us and make it difficult to remember our sense of humor. People generally feel more comfortable around those that can make them laugh and feel at ease, so don’t forget to let your awesome sense of humor out. If you’re able to just let loose and crack a few jokes, you’d be surprised at how much more at ease you’ll feel.
  5. Get out of your head and be in the moment. If you’re nervous or feeling awkward, it can be so hard to completely focus on what the other person is saying while you’re trying to flirt with him. You know that you want to talk to him and get to know him more, but when you’re so concerned with what he’s thinking about or how he’s feeling, your mind is bound to wander. Before you know it, you won’t have any idea what they’re talking about. As hard as it might be, try to really focus on what he’s saying to you. Not only will this allow him to see how genuine you are and that you’re actually interested in him, but distracting yourself will actually help to eliminate a lot of your nerves.
  6. Ask a lot of questions. Asking the guy you’re flirting with a lot of questions is another great way to suppress your nerves and get you closer to him. This makes him feel like you’re engaged with him because you want to know things about him and it allows the conversation to keep going without any of those long, awkward pauses that we all hate.
  7. Think about your body and your hands. Body language can do so much for you when you’re flirting with someone new. If you want him to know that you’re friendly and fun, think about how you’re standing and the kind of gestures you’re making with your hands. Try not to cross your arms over your chest or put your hands on your hips. These stances can often make you look closed off or uncomfortable. Try leaning on something casually or even lightly talking with your hands so that he knows that you’re animated and excited. It also doesn’t hurt to give him a light touch here and there, maybe on the shoulder or arm. It’s just another way you can let him know that you’re into him.
  8. Be yourself! One of the worst things that you can do when you’re flirting with a guy is to try and be someone that you’re not. It can be hard if you meet him and you instantly realize that the two of you have different personalities. You might be bubbly and energetic and he might be more stoic and pensive. That’s okay! Just be who you are and stay true to your own personality. Just because you might be different from him doesn’t mean that he won’t like you. Don’t try to pretend to be someone that you’re not. It’s an exhausting act to have to keep up. You never know, he might be looking for someone who’s his exact opposite and that might be you!
  9. Don’t take it too seriously! Above all, just remember that the best parts of you will always shine when you’re having fun and letting loose. Flirting is supposed to be something that’s enjoyable and playful so, try not to take it too seriously and just have a good time with it. If you say something silly or do something awkward, just laugh it off and move on! Chances are, the guy you’re talking to will find you most attractive when you’re just being your silly, charming self and if he doesn’t, he’s just not the one for you!
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.