How To Get A Crush To Like You & How To Cope If They Don’t Reciprocate

We all know the feeling of liking someone so much and being unsure if they like us back but wanting to do everything we can to increase our chances with them! While still trying to remain true to yourself, of course, here are a few tips on how you can get your crush to like you and how to deal if they don’t.

  1. Try to get to know them. If you like someone and want to see if there could be romantic potential between the two of you, the first step would be to get to know them better, especially if you don’t know them well at all. Spend time talking to each other, observing them, and seeing what their personality is like. It’s easy to be attracted to someone but in order to determine if your crush has substance, you have to make sure you like their personality.
  2. Explore common interests. How similar are you and this person? You don’t necessarily have to have everything in common with someone you like because sometimes opposites attract. It is nice, however, to have certain interests and personality traits in common with someone you like. It can make it easier to break the ice when you have a lot of topics to discuss or things that you can do together. So, learn about what this person likes to do, the shows they watch, the sports they play, the books they read, and all of that. If you have a lot in common with them, it’s possible you could build a firm foundation of a relationship on those common interests.
  3. Build a friendship. Once you establish that this person is someone you like and enjoy being around, it’s a great idea to build a friendship with them, if you haven’t already. Many of the best romantic connections begin with friendships and just being platonic with someone you like first also helps you become more comfortable around them, less nervous. It takes the pressure off that can often exist at the beginning of a dating relationship and just lets you exist in the same space with someone you like, taking everything at your own speed.
  4. Be honest with them. Friendship is a great start but if you find your feelings for this person getting stronger and stronger and you know that your crush is evolving and you want more than just friendship with them, you need to gather the courage, if you’re nervous, to be honest with them and tell them how you feel. It can be nerve-wracking, especially if you’re very unclear if they like you back. However, you can’t hide your feelings forever and at some point, you’ll have to tell them.
  5. Watch for signs. If you’re nervous about the response you might get from them after spilling your feelings, a good thing to do right before, and maybe right after you tell them, is to watch for signs. Do they flirt with you? Are they pretty consistent with talking and hanging out with you? Do you seem to always be single and not express interest in anyone else. These could all be very big signs that they like you back, they’re just nervous to be honest with you too!
  6. Accept the answer they give you. So, you finally mustered up the courage to tell them that you like them but unfortunately, you didn’t get the answer that you were hoping for from them. If this person doesn’t reciprocate those feelings, there isn’t a lot you can do. You have to accept the answer they give you. Even if you feel blindsided because you thought they gave you so many signs, you can’t control what they say to you. Keep your head held high, don’t react too aggressively. Just accept what they say and you can move on from there with what to do next.

What to do if your crush doesn’t like you back

  1. Don’t chase what isn’t there. If they make it pretty clear that they don’t have feelings for you like that, the worst thing that you can do for yourself is chase after them, convincing yourself that you can change their mind. The thing is, you shouldn’t want to be with anyone who doesn’t want to be with you. As hard as it is when you really like someone, or even love them, unrequited love isn’t real love. It’s an incredibly painful situation to put yourself in. The right person for you won’t risk losing you. You can’t convince someone to love you, unfortunately.
  2. Decide if you want to maintain a friendship. When you tell someone you like them and they don’t like you back, it can make things pretty awkward between the two of you. Oftentimes, they might feel the desire to pull away from you at the risk of leading you on or making you think they want something with you. On the other side of that token, you might feel the desire to pull away from them because you feel embarrassed or just disappointed and don’t want to confront the issue anymore. First of all, you should never feel ashamed or embarrassed for speaking your truth. It takes a lot of bravery to do that. However, it’s up to you and that person if you still want to maintain a friendship with each other. While it’s not easy, it can be done if both people really want it.
  3. Move on. Whether or not you decide to keep this person in your life, the fact of the matter is that you need to move on from your romantic feelings for them. It’s not going to do you any good to sit around pining over a person who you’ll never have a romantic relationship with. It’s not healthy and it’s not fair to you. Not only is it putting yourself through unnecessary pain, but it’s also potentially holding you back from meeting someone else. You could meet someone else who you like even more and who likes you back but if your heart isn’t open to meeting anyone new because you’re still so hung up on this other person, you might miss a chance with someone really great.
  4. Always be yourself. It’s a common reaction when someone doesn’t like you back to immediately start blaming yourself. You might be thinking that something is wrong with you or that you need to change yourself in order to get this person to like you. The truth is though, there is nothing wrong with you and you absolutely do not need to change. Just because this person doesn’t like you like that doesn’t mean that you need to change. The right person for you will love you just the way are and appreciate everything about you. Always stay true to yourself.

 

Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.
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