Getting back into the dating ring when you’ve been out of it for a while is daunting, to say the least. Jumping back in takes courage and confidence, but once you’re in, you’ll see there’s really nothing to it. Here’s how to get back into dating and have a great time doing it.
- Start socializing with new people. Dating can be overwhelming at the best of times, let alone when you’re just getting back into it. So start with the baby step of socializing with new people who aren’t romantic interests. Accept invitations to social events whenever you can, and practice just being around new people. This will make going on a real date seem less daunting. Plus, you never know who you might meet when you’re not trying to meet anyone!
- Check in with your friends who are also dating. When you’re in the dating trenches, one of your best resources should be other friends who are dating, according to Pride. You can find out the latest information from then that you may have missed while you’ve been out of the game. For example, they can advise you on the best places to go for a date or help you set up a profile on a dating app. They’re also likely to understand if you need to vent about dating anxiety!
- Start with only one dating app. If you are going down the dating app route, try starting with only one app. While it can be tempting to jump on a handful at once, the truth is that can get overwhelming. And if you’ve got too many apps to keep up with, you might miss a good match when it comes your way. So pick the app that resonates with you the most and start off with that. After a while, when you feel ready to sink your teeth into it a little more, you can set up profiles on other apps too.
- Take the time to get your profile perfect. Take time with your profile on the dating app you’re using. If you include the wrong information or leave out vital info, you could risk attracting the wrong people and repelling the right ones. It could lead to a bad experience that will be difficult to deal with when you’re still finding your feet in the dating world. There’s no rush—take as much time as you need to make sure your profile really represents you.
- Go on a double date with a friend. Dating is intimidating, so many people prefer to go on double-dates until they’re comfortable enough to see someone on their own. If you’re feeling really anxious about dating, see if you can organize a double-date with a friend. Of course, if you don’t have the right people in the mix, the date can end up being even more awkward. The ideal situation would be for you and a friend to go on a date with someone and their friend, so there are two sets of friends who can lean on each other.
How to get back into dating
- Get clear on what didn’t work last time. You’ll feel more prepared to tackle the challenges of dating if you learn from your dating history. Get really clear on what didn’t work out last time so you don’t make the same mistakes. Maybe you always go for the same type of guy, and he’s bad news. Or maybe you scare your dates away by talking about wanting children the first time you meet them. Take the time to work out what went wrong so you can recognize patterns and stop them from reoccurring.
- Work out who and what you’re looking for. Part of analyzing your dating history is figuring out exactly who and what you’re looking for. There are no right answers. Whether you want to find the one and settle down, or find a hookup buddy, you’ll be more satisfied if you can work out what you want from the beginning. Sometimes it’s difficult to work out exactly what you want. But you can start by ruling out the things and people you definitely don’t want.
- Invest in yourself. Dating gurus recommend investing in yourself before jumping back into the dating game. Make sure you look and feel your best before getting back on that horse. Confidence is a powerful tool to have. You don’t have to look like a model. But you’re likely to attract better matches (and have more fun!) if you feel amazing, no matter what you look like.
- Set realistic objectives. Recognize that dating is hard. If you set big goals for yourself straight away, you’ll likely feel disappointed. Instead, try to set realistic objectives. Don’t beat yourself up for not having the courage to ask a strange out in a bar. Start by making eye contact with strangers and smiling at the ones you’re interested in. If you’re on dating apps, maybe set a goal to go on at least one date, even if you’re not totally sure about the person you’re seeing.
- Be smart, but vulnerable. Unfortunately, it’s a sad reality that the dating world is filled with people who might break your heart. It’s important to be smart and pay attention to red flags. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be vulnerable with the right person. Trust your instincts and if you find someone who doesn’t display red flags and whom you feel a connection with, it’s okay to let your guard down.
