How To Get Better At Flirting When You’re Terrible At It

There are lots of things that hold us back in love, but the inability to be charismatic and charming when we express our interest in someone is one of the biggest issues. If you feel inexperienced in dating, it can be hard to get started. Here are some tips about how to get better at flirting to improve your love life!

Google some pick-up lines. No one should be afraid of Google. It’s a great resource for everyone. This gives you a private, safe space to cover the initial bases of how to flirt. You can read about different techniques and evaluate how you would respond to each approach to conclude which lines you like best. It gives you a foundation to build on, at the very least.

Practice on people you’re not interested in. Grab some friends, take a bottle of wine, and rock up to the local bar for some practice. Loosen up with some alcohol and test out your material. Start with people you aren’t interested in because it takes off the pressure and you can refine your craft. It will get easier with practice to be smooth and suave, trust me!

Ask your friends for advice. If your friends are horrified by your attempts at flirting, get their intel! We all have to start somewhere, right? They will understand your boundaries and offer suggestions about what has worked for them before. They might even let you do a bit of roleplaying with them, despite how mortifying that might sound.

Take a risk and be memorable. The way to get better at flirting is to be yourself. You can use the generic pick-up lines like ‘You come here often’ to break the ice, but eventually, you have to just have a conversation with someone you like. Be shamelessly you. Tell a joke or an interesting fact. Do anything to stand out.

Choose a really unusual compliment. Don’t just tell people they’re hot. I know we all love to hear it, but you have to be more specific than that. Tell them you think their shoes are jaunty or that their hat really suits them. Connect the validation to a decision they’ve made rather than a physical attribute. They will remember that in the morning.

Really listen to your date. When you’re flirting, it’s no use ignoring what they’re saying because you’re so stressed about coming up with the next topic of conversation or witty line. Just chill out and respond authentically to what you’re talking about. By paying attention, you can read between the lines and introduce some flirtations to the conversation.

Use your best anecdotes. Your friends all know that you’re hilarious and well-rounded and lovely, but somehow you clam up and can’t convey that when you’re flirting. To avoid that, have some anecdotes that you know go down well and resort to them when you’re stuck for conversation.

More tips for how to get better at flirting

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Happy smiling African American couple having fun together, enjoying themselves and hugging while having fun outdoors and smiling

Don’t stress about rejection. Most people play it safe when they’re trying to flirt because they don’t want to get turned down, but that’s just a natural part of dating. We’ve all done it, it just hurts when it’s done to us. Try to take it on the chin and know that it’s not as personal as it feels.

Smile more! It shouldn’t sound like you’re being held hostage when you’re flirting. If you’re smiling it puts the person you’re talking to at ease, and they will mirror your smile. This relaxes the situation and shows that you’re enjoying the conversation.

Use your body language to show interest. By touching the person’s arm, or leaning towards them, it shows them that you are really listening to them. By maintaining strong eye contact, you are also strengthening that initial connection. Look out for interest from the people you’re talking to as an indicator of how you’re doing. It’s a great tip because people often miss these signs when they’re flirting.

Use a wingman. If your friends are still hanging around the bar, a few cocktails deep, use them to your advantage. Get them to put their nose on the line and make the initial introduction, or play ‘Good cop/bad cop’ so that you seem more attractive in comparison. Plus, having familiar forces up there with you will put you at ease when you’re flirting with someone new.

If you’re nervous, take a shot. Make no mistake, when you’re flirting, it takes guts and courage. Keep yourself loose by having some shots and make sure you have a good time whether or not you flirt successfully. You’re putting yourself out there, and that’s what’s important.

Be unexpected. When you’re flirting with someone, try to mix things up. Wink, or grab their hand and move to the dance floor if the conversation is dwindling. Anything to keep that adrenaline going will do the trick. As long as you’re having fun, you’re halfway there.

Get used to talking to pretty people. I know we all think attractive people won’t give us the time of day, but why not shoot your shot? The worst they can do is say no, and they will always appreciate the confidence boost. Don’t be afraid of talking to anyone you think is ‘out of your league’. You never know what might happen…

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