How To Get A Guy To Chase You, According To A Guy

At the start of every relationship, there’s almost always one person who’s doing the chasing (or at least more of it than the other). While there’s no shame in being the main pursuer, being chased is a sign that you’re desired, which just feels nice. As a guy, here are some ways to get a guy to put in the bulk of the effort when it comes to winning you over.

  1. Leave out your long-term plans. Don’t let him know that you’re looking for something serious, at least not right away. I know it’s usually best to be upfront and honest with people, but most guys will be scared away if you come on too strong too quickly. Plus, it gives away that you’re looking for something special rather than just going with the flow. You need to give him the impression that you’re available but not looking to lock him down long-term.
  2. Be independent. Believe it or not, confident guys like independent women. They’re not needy and they live their own lives, which we like. Also, independent women are more interesting, which makes us want to get to know them better. Plus, they’re too busy with their own lives to chase after us, so we have to chase after them.
  3. Be confident. Along with showing a guy that you’re independent, show him that you’re confident. I can’t stress enough how much guys prefer women who are comfortable in their own skin. When you exude confidence, it convinces a guy that you are someone who’s worth pursuing.
  4. Let him know your options are open. Guys tend to do this a lot, so I see no reason why you ladies can’t do it too. Keep in mind that most guys are competitive by nature. If we learn that you have other options, we’ll feel like we have something to prove. That should get us chasing after you rather than the other way around.
  5. Be consistent with your schedule. Never move things around to suit him. That means never breaking plans just to hang out with him. Instead, make him adjust to your schedule, even if it means waiting an extra day or two to see him. So many guys try to control relationships by doing things their way, but trust me when I say that the guys who do this don’t really care about you.
  6. Never be the first to call or text. Okay, I don’t literally mean never, but don’t get in a habit of always contacting a guy first. That makes it seem like you’re the one who’s desperate for him. If he likes you, he’ll put in the effort. Along those same lines, don’t be in a rush to text him back. If you make him wait for a little, it’ll send that message that he’s the one doing the chasing. Obviously you shouldn’t be playing mind games, but there’s no harm in letting things settle for a bit.
  7. Be a little mysterious. Please note that I said a little mysterious. If you’re too withholding, guys will get frustrated and give up on you. This means not sharing your entire life story on the first date. Try to be who you are, but don’t offer too many details. Make a guy ask the right questions if he really wants to get to know you. If you can act a little mysterious and pique his interest, you’ll get him chasing you.
  8. Be happy and fun to be around. Playing hard to get is not always the right move to get a guy to chase you. Sometimes women who do that come off as moody and egotistical. Those are not qualities that make a guy want you. On the contrary, guys like women who are happy and fun to be around. We want someone who smiles and likes to flirt. Who wouldn’t?
  9. Get your sexy on. Okay, I swear I’m not trying to objectify you, but you can’t deny that men are visual and superficial creatures. Nothing makes us want to chase a woman more than being in awe of her beauty. That doesn’t mean you need to go overboard. Just make a little effort to look your best by accentuating your best features. Just remember that if a guy finds you attractive, he will go to great lengths to get you.
  10. Just be yourself. Honestly, this is good advice in any situation. If you want to get a guy to chase you, don’t try to be what you think he wants. Whatever that is, he’s probably had it before. He’s not going to spend time pursuing a woman who’s like all of the other women he knows. Just be yourself, which is probably someone who is unique and amazing. Be real and genuine because those are the women that good guys will want to chase.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.