There are so many versions of this article on the internet at this present moment in time. However, much as you might want a perfect answer to this question, there isn’t one. There are, however, so many ways that we can accentuate our natural gifts and talents in a way that other people can really appreciate. Here’s how to get guys to like you.

Be yourself.

I can feel hundreds of people rolling their eyes from a thousand miles away. It’s the slogan that adorns the surface of every therapist’s office and every wall of a high school guidance counselor worth their salt. But you can get so caught up in trying to do what everyone else wants you to do all the time that you forget to spend any of your own time. More than that, you waste time that you could have spent developing your personality or relationship skills. Living someone else’s life means you will never feel fulfilled and you’ll be confused about why. No matter what happens, it’s important to be authentically you.

Show your goofy side.

There’s nothing more attractive than someone who can just reveal their weirdest, wackiest self. You don’t have to be super refined or polished at every minute of the day. Humans just aren’t built that way. This is why it’s so important to understand what parts of yourself you like and what you want to be able to put forward. Don’t take yourself too — life’s too short.

Be willing to open up.

 This is the real way to build a connection with people who are important to you. You can build from the bottom up with the real, important things like what makes you tick and what you want out of this life. It also shows that you’re committed to talking to this guy more because it’s no small feat to start talking about people who are significant and formative to your life. By introducing short snippets of things like your siblings and education and general interests, you’re showing another person that you’re interested in keeping them in your life.

Don’t be afraid of small talk.

Lots of people hate first dates because they fear the awkwardness of small talk. However, I don’t think it’s as much of a red-letter day as people think. It’s a safe bet to start talking about things that you can go far with, like the weather or how your day was. If you start feeling nervous at the start of a new relationship or a date, then it’s a really useful crutch to get comfortable. If anything, it avoids that awkward gap in communication. Small talk is a great way of showing guys that you’re casually funny and engaging. Plus, if you like someone even when they’re talking about the weather, it’s a great sign that when you get to the deeper stuff, you’ll be really compatible.

Invite them over to meet your friends.

Meeting someone’s friends is a really big step in a relationship, even in a casual stage of talking. It’s a great and really effective way of getting to know someone indirectly. Plus, there will rarely be a pause in conversation because you always have something in common with your friends: your partner! It’s also a fun way of networking and seeing all the peripheral behaviors and past versions of themselves to come into contact with. Meeting friends is also an intimate gesture because you’re inviting them into your world.

How to get guys to like you

Experiment.

The best way to get guys to like you is to be open to trying new things. It’s a great way of feeling out what works and what doesn’t. You also get to figure out what you like and what you don’t, in addition to streamlining what they like and what they don’t. By doing this you get to experience new things and figure out who you are even while in a relationship. That’s incredibly attractive for other guys to see what they’re getting with you.

Be bold on social media.

If you feel like you aren’t getting the attention you deserve, then why not play a few games on social media? I know that ghosting doesn’t feel like the most mature of conversations to not have, but there is a time and a place. If you feel like you want to go the other way and develop things further, why not give a few saucy pictures on Instagram a go. That way you can check that he’s still interested in you because he will engage with your post. We all like these visual metrics of people being interested in us.

Be funny.

There is nothing more attractive than someone who shares the same sense of humor as you. It means you can sit in the same slot together and feel like you’ve known each other all along. If he laughs, it’s a great way of seeing if he’s still interested in you.

Don’t be too available.

Now it’s time to get down to the nitty-gritty. It seems dumb to say that being less available for a guy will make him like you more, but that’s kinda how it works. Men’s minds are warped that way. If you make yourself too available — being too hyped up to make plans, answering his text in .5 seconds, etc. — you’re automatically making yourself less desirable. While you can turn him off by acting too aloof as well, it’s important to strike a healthy balance. Show him you’re moderately interested but even if you’re head over heels already, he doesn’t need to know that.

Have a full life.

You shouldn’t be looking for a relationship or a guy to complete you. Your life should already be complete without a relationship and any potential partner should be the icing on top of an already bangin’ cake. Have a solid friend group, hobbies and passions, a good career, and ambitions. Guys will like you immediately when they see how much you have to offer.

Want more for yourself.

As I mentioned above, it’s important to have ambition. I don’t mean that you need to want to run a Fortune 500 company or scale Mt. Everest (though that’s awesome if you do!) but just that you should always be striving to be the best possible version of yourself. Always striving for self-improvement is important for a full, happy life. It just so happens that it’s an incredibly attractive trait too.

Don’t put up with his crap (or anyone else’s).

You might think being agreeable is vital when it comes to getting guys to like you, but that’s not the case at all. No one likes a doormat anymore than you’d like being one. If someone is giving you a bunch of BS or treating you poorly, call them out on it, then invite them to exit stage left from your life. There’s nothing hotter than a woman who calls people out for bad behavior.

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