How to Get Him To Commit Without Pressuring Him

Things are going well with your boyfriend but he seems on the fence about actually stepping up his game and locking things down. Maybe he just needs a little extra push in the right direction. Commitment is a big deal and a lot of men will want to think long and hard about their options before opting to go all-in with you. Forcing the issue and pressuring him is only going to push him away, so encourage him to commit by showing how awesome you are. He won’t be able to resist! Here’s how to get him to commit with minimal effort.

  1. Show your fun side. Relationships can’t always be sunshine and rainbows, but they certainly shouldn’t be boring either. Showcasing your fun side shows a guy that being with you will be exciting and positive. Sometimes men are worried about committing to someone who they can’t laugh with or who won’t put the effort in to make him smile. If you want him to plan exciting dates and make you chuckle, then you should do the same for him! He’ll know you’re the right one for him if you’re a fun person that he wants to be around.
  2. Be supportive of him. Men who seek long-term relationships will want a partner who’ll support them. No one wants to be stuck with a girlfriend or boyfriend who doesn’t believe in them, after all. He may not want to commit until he can be absolutely certain that you’ll be a cheerleader for him like he’ll be for you. There’s a balance between blindly fawning and being overly judgmental and critical. In that balanced space, you’ll find the perfect kind of support. Basically, be genuine and honest in feedback if necessary, but don’t stop believing in his abilities and dreams. He’ll see that you’re a great person to have by his side.
  3. Set clear, reasonable, and firm boundaries. No matter how in love you are with someone, you need to maintain your self-respect. Set clear boundaries regarding what is and isn’t acceptable to you from him, be firm in reinforcing them, and communicate them well. When you set boundaries, you show a man that you have standards and are open and honest about them. A good man will respect and value that quality in you.
  4. Don’t play jealousy-driven games. It’s not hard to make a man jealous, but doing so intentionally isn’t recommended. Playing this immature game will often make him feel inadequate, further pushing him away and lessening his desire to commit. Instead of playing jealousy mind games, show him that you’re into him and only have eyes for him. If he’s been sitting on the fence, that could be the push that makes him decide to commit.
  5. Be a friend, not just a partner. Good partnerships have strong foundations, and friendships are powerful foundations to build on. It’s easy to get lost in your feelings and forget to be a companion to him too. Being a friend shows him that you’re someone he can hang out with, allows you to both be yourselves, and facilitates more open bonding. Even when the initial infatuation fades away, you’ll still have his interest because he’s comfortable with you!
  6. Don’t use ultimatums. Many people make the mistake of getting impatient with men who haven’t committed yet and will issue ultimatums. “Commit to me or I walk!” It’s understandable that you feel this way, but this is likely to simply push him away. He may feel overwhelmed, worry that this kind of threat will become a pattern in a relationship, or simply decide that he’s not ready and doesn’t want to waste your time. If you truly want a man to commit to you when he’s still thinking about it, the secret lies in patience, and that’s all there is to it.
  7. Showcase the beauty and wit of your mind. Your physical appearance can be stunning, but it doesn’t matter to long-term commitment nearly as much as your mind does. So wow him with how beautiful your brain is! Showcase your intellect, humor, and personality. Those are the things that will show him that he’d make the right decision by committing to you.
  8. Maintain a little mystery. There’s nothing wrong with being an open book, and it’s certainly true that some men love that. But in general, a little mystery goes a long way. So don’t spill all the details about your past, your life, and your quirks right away. Keeping some things to yourself further intrigues a guy and clearly tells him that if he wants to know more, he has to commit to deserve it!
  9. Have a fulfilling life without him. Men want partners who are independent. Your life should feel perfectly happy and complete without him. Seeing you living your best life can make him feel like being a part of it, and it can also encourage him to commit because he knows you have things together. You’re a whole, beautiful person all on your own. You have hobbies, a career, dreams, passions, your own friends, and all sorts of personal details. Your life is about more than just dating and him, and that’s what makes him want to be a part of it.
Always give your 100%… unless you're donating blood. Then don't.