How To Get Him To Stop Seeing Other Women And Just Be With You

Are you “just dating” a guy who’s seeing a few different other women? It’s really difficult to get a guy to change his mind about a casual situation if he thinks things are working fine as-is, but if you like him, you’ll want to lock thing down. If he’s already told you he’s not interested in anything big, trying to change that will lead to a broken heart. However, by starting the conversation, he may reconsider and realize it’s time to get exclusive. Here’s how to get him to stop seeing other women and focus on you.

  1. Schedule more time with him. If you see him once a month, you’re a booty call; if you have plans every weekend, he might realize he doesn’t need anyone else to have a fun time. The more time he spends with you, the more chances he’ll get to see your personality shine through. Don’t fill up his calendar all at once. Just a “We should do this again — does next Saturday work?” should be good enough.
  2. Shower him with compliments. If the situation started as just sex, he may be surprised if you start complimenting him on things that aren’t physical. If he makes you laugh, tell him you love his sense of humor. If he’s always dressed to impress, take notice. By openly being kind, he’ll start to see you in a different way.
  3. Text him about stuff outside of the relationship. Is he good with conversation? Try asking him a question about himself through text. Take an active interest in what he’s all about and listen closely. This will help strengthen the emotional side of your relationship. He wouldn’t put time into this type of conversation if he didn’t like you. Solidify that connection by learning more about his past.
  4. Up your flirtiness. You might already be great with eye contact, but consider a little bit of PDA if you’re out in public. Nothing obscene, but something minor like trying to hold his hand or stroking his arm could work. You want something that doesn’t say “back off” to everyone else, but signals that you feel really comfortable around him. Pay close attention to how he responds. Does he tense up? It may be too much too soon. Does he return the embrace? Then you’re in a good place.
  5. Tell him you’re not seeing anyone else right now. Only if that’s the truth, of course. You probably discussed the terms of your coupling back when it started. If he’s free to see other women, you’re probably free to see other men. Casually drop it in that he’s the only one you’ve been with. That’ll show him that you’re technically single so if he wanted to make a bigger move, it’s fairly easy. If you are seeing other people, mention that you don’t have as much fun with the other guys as you do with him.
  6. Tell him how you feel. Having a good conversation is the best way to try and get anything you want. However, you should brace yourself to be heartbroken or have this guy back away a little if he’s not comfortable. It’s a gamble to take. Either he’s into the idea and you’ve got an official boyfriend or your feelings strongly outweigh his, which will likely lead to a brief separation. If your feelings are borderline love, it’s a risk worth taking since eventually, you’ll need to come to terms with the truth. If you can handle your situation for longer, it’s a little easier to slowly feel out where he’s coming from and what he thinks.
  7. Improve yourself. You are half of this relationship. Is there anything you can be doing better? It’s always a good move to improve yourself, whether it’s by figuring out your home finances or taking on a healthy hobby that can grow with you. Did you drop out of school? Maybe going back will be a good way to get a better job if you feel stuck in your career. Show him that you are a constant work in progress. It might inspire him to upgrade the relationship.
  8. See if he’d be down for a mini-vacation with you. If the weather is nice enough, see if he’d be interested in going on an adventure. Not only is it a good way to get out of the house, but he’ll be forming memories with you. Sometimes a new environment will help him see you in a different light. Sure, you’re a cool girl to hang out with at the club. But you’re also a girl who’s a blast to hang out with on long car rides or at the beach. By changing your location, you may also change his entire perception.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.