How to Get His Attention Without Actually Asking For It

Part of the whole dating thing is getting the right guy to notice you, and then once you snag him, keeping his attention. Here are some ways to get on and stay on his mind without being over-the-top obvious about it. After all, nothing says desperate like begging for it.

  1. Practice your touchy-feely flirting skills. Touching him is a great signal that you’re interested, but it should also be used anytime you want to linger on his mind. Casual, unassuming (but secretly purposefully) strokes of the arm or neck will light up his senses and keep them lit. It’s not so much that it’s inappropriate with a stranger, and it’s not too little to make an impact.
  2. Make eye contact. Okay, you’ve heard it so many times it hardly needs repeating. But for real – one of the easiest ways to let someone know you’re feeling it is to just look at them. Don’t be shy! It works for the stranger at the bar and it works for giving your boo the vibe when he’s across the room chatting with his boss at that work party.
  3. Be happy. Nothing is as appealing as woman who’s happy and isn’t giving off the needy vibe. Sure, you might feel a little needy somewhere in there, but truly, the more you can do you right and nurture what you need, the more likely that someone else is going to notice and want a piece of it, too.
  4. Keep him in anticipation. You don’t want to play hard to get (because you might not want to be “playing” anything), but a little teasing anticipation never hurt anyone. Think stepping close and then pulling back, touching him and then talking to someone near wherever you guys happen to be, or flirty text messages about your next date.
  5. Try new things together. When you’ve been dating someone for a while and things seem to be cooling off a bit, there’s nothing like trying new stuff together to relight the flame. It’s an opportunity to show off a slightly different side of yourself and showcase all that confidence you’ve got in there.
  6. Share some of your secrets. You don’t have to spill your guts to a guy you just met, but letting your guard down enough to let him in on something unique about you is a great way to make an impression. Who knows, you might have something surprising in common.
  7. Ask him for help with something. In a situation where you work with a guy or see him around often, why not seek out his expertise on something? You don’t have to pretend to have a question or that you need something when you don’t, but next time you’re really wondering about the best lunch spot within walking distance, save your question for him and not waste it on your cubicle mate.
  8. Know that you’re hot. The worst thing you can do when you’re trying to get or keep a man’s attention is to doubt yourself. There is a different type of beauty for every different person on the planet so don’t second guess whether or not he should be into you. That’s for him to decide. Never compare yourself to another girl and just trust you’ve got everything the right guy could ever need.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog