How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone With A Guy

The friend zone often feels like a dead-end, but it doesn’t have to be. If you legitimately feel like there’s romantic chemistry between yourself and a guy but you got off on the wrong foot, you can totally change things. Here are 12 ways to help the guy you’re crushing on see you as more than just a friend.

  1. Start flirting with him. Friends shouldn’t flirt, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be flirting! You’re interested in him romantically, so show it a little. Make him see that you’re more than just a friend. Be subtle about it, though, so you don’t seem desperate.
  2. Show him how hot you are. Now, you can’t deny that guys are very visual, so show him how you look when you’re not dressed in jeans or a tracksuit. Invite him out to a party and dress to kill so that his jaw drops when he sees you. While he should see you as beautiful in whatever you’re wearing, putting a little effort into your appearance can go a long way in opening someone’s eyes to you.
  3. Tweak your friendship. Maybe you’re his confidante and he’s always telling you about his dramas. That’s what friends and siblings do. If you want him to see you a bit differently, you’ll have to change how you interact. Instead of always being there to listen to him vent, show him that you can have fun by doing other activities with him.
  4. Don’t be so available. This is a rule that applies to dating and friendship: you should never be too available to people otherwise you seem like a desperate people-pleaser. That’s not girlfriend material. Back off a bit and show him you have other things to do. Tell him you can’t hang out because you’re busy with something that brings you joy, like your favorite hobby.
  5. Date other men. Now, this isn’t to make him jealous but to show him that you’re a woman with relationship needs. It can help to make him see that you’re not at his beck and call all the time as well as help him to see different sides of you.
  6. Have some deep talk. Maybe you love how much you and your friend can laugh and chill together, but that’s not enough to make him see you as a potential romantic partner. You need to start talking about real issues and get deep with him about a range of topics. The bonus of this is that you’ll see how he rates dating and relationships.
  7. Stop being the nice girl. You like the guy so it’s only natural that you’d want to be there to help him out. But don’t be so nice that you come across as his sister or his best friend. Don’t jump to assist him when he needs something, for example. It totally kills the mystery and makes him take for granted that you’re his bestie-slash-doormat. Ugh.
  8. Set some alone time. If you’re always hanging out in a group of friends, you won’t get a chance to really connect. So, invite him out alone so that you can spend more time together without any distractions.
  9. Get a little physical. While you don’t want to make the guy feel uncomfortable, you do want to touch him during conversation by tapping his arm or giving him a slightly longer-than-usual hug. This will help you see how he reacts and if he responds to your physical contact.
  10. Create some boundaries. If he’s always talking to you about his other crushes or asking you for dating advice, that needs to stop. He wouldn’t be doing that with a woman he saw as being girlfriend material, so maybe don’t be so eager to help him out. Let him see that you’re a woman with your own feelings, and possibly feelings for him. You should also create boundaries so that you don’t bow down to his every command in the hope that that will make him see you as dating potential. It really won’t.
  11. Don’t have sex with him. After a drunken night together, he suggests you take things to the next level. While this might make you think he’s keen on dating you, many people have sex with their platonic friends. It can make things super-confusing if you have feelings for the guy, so avoid it. The bonus is that it’ll probably help you out by playing a little hard to get.
  12. Finally, tell him that you have feelings. If all else fails, you can tell him how you feel. Keep the conversation light and casual so that it doesn’t feel awkward, but go ahead and express yourself. If the friendship is real, it won’t fall apart because of your confession. And who knows? Maybe he was dying to ask you out but just couldn’t pluck up the courage.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.