It’s sometimes hard to know how to get the guy you like to like you back, especially because there’s so much conflicting advice out there. It’s enough to make you feel stuck. But honestly, you can get the guy you’re into without compromising your values or trying to be his clone — don’t ever do that. Here are 13 tips for the next time you’re crushing hard and don’t know how to deal.
- Put your passions on display. Do you love playing the guitar or cooking? Do you dream of owning your own restaurant or company? Whatever you’re passionate about, let it shine whenever you speak to this person. There’s nothing more attractive than someone whose eyes light up when they talk about the things they love.
- Show him you don’t need him. This isn’t about playing hard to get. It’s about having your own life and loving it. This shows him that while you enjoy his company, you’re not hanging around waiting for him to make a move. He should be so lucky to get any of your time and energy!
- Be fun around him. You shouldn’t force yourself to be witty or laugh at everything he says because that’s just gonna come off as fake, but be fun in your own way. Again, this is about being who you are so he can see the real you. That’s what’s most attractive. If he can see that he’s getting an authentic connection and he has fun around you, he’s going to be drawn to you and you’ll likely get the guy. No one wants to be around someone who’s a total misery all the time.
- Give him meaningful compliments. It doesn’t help to dish out a ton of compliments in the hope that he’ll be flattered and you’ll get the guy to be putty in your hand. Make sure that if you do compliment him, you do it sparingly and make the compliments really count. Telling him he looks cute might be useful when you want to flirt a bit, but it’s not really substantial. It won’t be as memorable as telling him something that he’s probably never heard before.
- Leave him wanting more. If you’re having a fun conversation with the guy, it can be tempting to speak to him for hours at a time. But, this can cause the conversation to hit a wall or fizzle out. Rather leave him wanting more by ending the chat on a high. This will make him look forward to the next time you chat. You’ll have a much greater chance to get the guy if he realizes he needs to work to get you.
- Ask him deeper questions. When getting to know him, ask him about his passions and interests. When you show a genuine interest, this will not only stroke his ego but make him want to talk to you more. We all want to feel like people are interested in what we’re about. Creating a real connection by engaging is a good way to go.
- Give off cool girl energy. You don’t have to try hard to be cool. Just be chilled and mellow and he’ll sense your energy. Don’t give him too much attention or make him think you’re waiting around for him to text or ask you out. He’ll be intrigued by your calm confidence. Part of the effort to get the guy should be all about being effortless, if that makes sense.
More easy ways to get the guy
- Speak up! Share your opinions. If he asks you what you want to do for dinner, don’t say, “Anything you want.” That’s boring. Express your opinions and share your ideas with him. It’ll be intriguing to him because he wants to be with someone who knows what they want. You’re not a wallflower, so don’t act like one. Trying to get the guy by pretending to be less of a badass is not the vibe.
- Get to know his buddies. While you don’t have to try to force a friendship with his closest friends, it’s useful to connect with them as this will help you carve a path into his social circle. He’ll see you as a member of his pack. Just be careful not to get too buddy-buddy or you’ll end up adding the guy to your friend group rather than making him your boyfriend.
- Give interesting answers to his questions. If he asks you how your day was at work, don’t give him a boring answer. Instead, tell him about the most interesting thing that happened. This will keep your conversations fresh and interesting so he’ll be more likely to chat with you more regularly. That being said, life can get boring sometimes and you won’t always have great stories to tell the guy. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself here.
- Back off so he can miss you. When you’re connecting, don’t be afraid to let him miss you. You might think things are reaching a climax so you should continue initiating contact to keep the momentum going, but you actually need to give it a chance to breathe. It’s like a fire in that way. Let him come to you! As you might know from experience, when someone isn’t always in your face, you think about them more and crave their company. It fans your flames. It’s odd that taking a step back can get the guy to move closer to you, but guys are weird like that.
- Share activities together. If it comes up in conversation that he’d love to go mountain biking, suggest in a casual way that you guys do that together. Similarly, if he’s not keen on a theater show you’re a big fan of, tell him that he should go with you and give it a shot. When you both share different activities together, it’s a great way for you to step out of your dating comfort zone while giving you the chance to form special memories together.
- Ask for his advice. While you should never silly yourself down to impress a guy or get his attention, everyone wants to feel valued. So, go ahead and ask him for advice if you’re dealing with a problem. He’ll be flattered that you’re thinking of him. But don’t fake this by pretending that you don’t know something that you do. Smart women are hot!