How To Get The Spark Back Into Your Relationship When It Fades

It can be terrifying when the honeymoon period ends. That’s the time when everything is wonderful — your partner is the best match, you’ve never had a fight, and you’re the happiest you’ve ever been.

Now you barely go on dates and it seems like all you do is sit on the couch and look at your phones together. It doesn’t mean the romance can’t be re-ignited. Here’s how to bring it back.

  1. Schedule a set date night. Put it on the calendar and try to find fun places to go together. Low on cash? That’s fine too. Your neighborhood likely has a bunch of free events that you never even knew about. Do a little research and find something that could be fun. Even if it’s a bust, the most important thing here is that you’re spending time together.
  2. Turn off your phones after a certain time. This may not work if your significant other is on call for work or if they have a sick family member, but otherwise, it’ll do wonders. Even if you make a promise to have a screen-free dinner, it’s a step in the right direction. Ask them about their day or maybe find a fun question that can spark a good conversation. Make sure there’s at least a set amount of time where the two of you only focus on each other.
  3. Compliment your partner. Seriously, when was the last time you told them they looked really nice? You probably did it a lot at the beginning of the relationship but then the two of you just got into a routine. You assume they know by now that you’re attracted to them. A simple comment can boost their confidence.
  4. Plan a short weekend trip that includes a dress-up dinner. Mini-vacations are a great way to reset your mind and if you don’t have to take vacation days, all the better. Find a romantic hotel (or at least one with some nice amenities), book a fancy dinner, and dress up. Make this meal a splurge meal and don’t forget to order dessert. Have fun and remind yourself why you love the person you’re with.
  5. Book a spa day for the two of you. Make sure there are events that both of you are comfortable with. Then, spend a day in luxury. Pampering yourself is a good way to remind yourself of your self-worth. If you haven’t had a pedicure or a massage in a while, you may be a little down on yourself, which could ooze into your love life.
  6. Make them a gift. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but something small will remind them that you think they’re special. There’s no better gift than a spontaneous one that shows someone cares about your happiness. Little surprises like this are always important. You can look online for some good ideas, but if you’re good at knitting, scarves and hats are always a hit.
  7. Try to go clothes shopping for each other. This may be an odd task, but there’s something fun in dressing each other. Maybe there’s a color you think would look good on them or a new look you’d love for them to try. You can’t expect them to be completely into it, but they’re probably willing to give it a chance if they know you think it’d be sexy. Plus, when was the last time your wardrobe was revamped?
  8. Think of something fun to hide around the house. It’s amazing how many households do this. If there’s any sort of item that’s a private joke, try hiding it around the house, waiting for the next person to find. It’s almost like an in-home scavenger hunt that only the two of you know about. Of course, this works best if you live together. If not, you can always plant a fun surprise for them the next time you visit. Little statues or funny books often work best. Laughter is the perfect way to bring the spark back.
  9. Try to find a brand new physical hobby the both of you want to try out. It could be skydiving, water-skiing, or simply running a race together. Exercise is always great since you’ll both feel rejuvenated afterward. Even taking a hike can be a fun adventure to help your relationship. But if you both fancy yourself as daredevils, why not looking into things that are more extreme? The more fun things you can do together, the more you can revive a stale relationship. Mutual hobbies are always important.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.