How To Handle Awkward Silences Without Panicking

How To Handle Awkward Silences Without Panicking

We’ve all been there. You’re in a conversation, and suddenly, the air goes still. The awkward silence descends, and you’re scrambling for something, anything, to say. But guess what? Awkward silences happen to the best of us. It’s totally normal, and it doesn’t have to be a cringe-fest. So, take a deep breath and check out these tips to navigate those silences like a pro.

1. Embrace the silence — it’s not always awkward.

Not every silence is uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s simply a natural pause in the conversation, giving everyone a chance to gather their thoughts. Resist the urge to fill every gap with chatter, Psych Central advises. Let the silence be, and see if it naturally leads to a new topic or a deeper connection.

2. Ask open-ended questions to get the conversation flowing again.

young couple in an argument

If the silence feels a little too long, steer the conversation back on track with a thought-provoking question. Instead of a simple “yes” or “no” question, ask something that requires a more elaborate answer. For example, “What’s been the highlight of your week so far?” or “What are you most looking forward to in the coming months?”

3. Share a personal anecdote or story related to the topic.

If you’re struggling to come up with a question, share a relevant story from your own life. It could be a funny anecdote, a personal experience, or even a random observation. This can spark a new line of conversation or simply lighten the mood and make everyone feel more at ease.

4. Comment on your surroundings or something happening around you.

woman being blunt and overbearing

If you’re out and about, take a look around and find something to comment on. It could be the decor of the restaurant, the music playing, or even the weather. This can be a great way to break the ice and get the conversation flowing again. You could say something like, “Have you tried their coffee? It smells amazing!”

5. Use humor to diffuse the tension.

Photo of young couple having date at restaurant

A well-timed joke or a playful remark can work wonders in dissipating awkwardness. Don’t be afraid to make a self-deprecating comment or poke fun at the situation in a lighthearted way. Just be sure to keep it respectful and avoid any offensive humor.

6. Take a genuine interest in the other person.

flirty couple at coffee shop

Sometimes, the best way to break an awkward silence is to simply show interest in the other person. Ask them about their hobbies, passions, or any recent experiences they’ve had. People love to talk about themselves, so this can be a great way to get the conversation back on track.

7. Briefly acknowledge the silence and move on.

awkward first date

If you’re feeling particularly bold, you could address the awkward silence directly. Say something like, “Well, that was an interesting pause,” or “Sometimes silence is golden, don’t you think?” This can break the tension and allow you to move on to a new topic.

8. Use the silence as an opportunity to reflect and recharge.

couple having serious conversation at pub

Not every silence needs to be filled. Sometimes it’s okay to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the company of the other person without feeling the need to talk constantly. Use the silence as a chance to recharge your social battery and simply be present in the moment.

9. Suggest a change of scenery or activity.

If the silence is getting uncomfortable, suggest moving to a different location or engaging in an activity. Maybe grab a drink at the bar, step outside for some fresh air, or propose a game of pool. A change of pace can often shake things up and create new conversational opportunities.

10. Use the silence to observe and learn about the other person.

smiling couple on coffee date

Awkward silences can actually be a great opportunity to pay attention to non-verbal cues. Observe the other person’s body language, facial expressions, and gestures. This can give you valuable insights into their personality and how they’re feeling in the moment, helping you find a new topic to connect on.

11. Admit that the silence is awkward and laugh it off.

first date at restaurant

Sometimes, the most straightforward approach is the most effective. If you’re both feeling the awkwardness, acknowledge it with a lighthearted comment like, “Well, this is awkward,” or “I’m not sure what to say next.” This can break the tension and create a shared experience that you can both laugh about.

12. Bring up a current event or pop culture reference.

dating like a job interview

If you’re struggling to find common ground, bring up a recent news story, a trending topic on social media, or a popular TV show. This can spark a conversation and give you both something to talk about. You could say something like, “Have you seen the latest episode of [show name]?” or “What do you think about [current event]?”

13. Use the silence as an opportunity to excuse yourself politely.

coffee date at a coffee shop

If all else fails, and you’re just not feeling the vibe, it’s okay to politely excuse yourself. You can say something like, “Excuse me, I need to freshen up,” or “It was great chatting with you, but I should mingle a bit.” There’s no shame in gracefully bowing out of a conversation that isn’t working for you.

14. Remember that awkward silences are a normal part of conversation.

dating couple sitting at pink table

Don’t beat yourself up if you encounter an awkward silence. It happens to everyone, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad conversationalist. In fact, it can be an opportunity to practice your communication skills and learn new ways to connect with people.

15. Practice makes perfect!

attract man

The more you interact with people and face awkward silences head-on, the more comfortable you’ll become at handling them. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different strategies and see what works best for you. Remember, the key is to stay calm, be yourself, and have fun with it.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.