It’s going to take more than love to keep your relationship going through the months and years. There are lots of factors that can influence the outcome of your relationship, and many of them are within your control. If you want your relationship to last, following these tips can help improve your chances of making that happen.
Take responsibility for your emotions.
You can’t really make your partner happy unless you can do it for yourself. Don’t hang your happiness entirely on them. Find things that bring you joy in life. Take ownership of your wants and needs. Speak your mind instead of waiting for your partner to read your mind and do right by you. Work on your flaws and cultivate your better qualities so you can be a better partner to your significant other.
Be open to compromise.
If you’re constantly in a power struggle with your partner, your relationship is not going to make it very far. You have to be willing to fight fair and make compromises. There should be no winners and losers when you fight. Your goal should be to understand your partner’s point of view rather than seeing it as an attack and rushing to defend yourself. Listen and show compassion, and if you do or say something wrong, be quick to apologize.
Learn each other’s love language.
Whether it’s holding their hand, showering them with kisses and hugs, or doing something nice for them without waiting for them to ask for it, loving your partner the way they like to be loved will make them happy. Your relationship is likely to last longer if you both feel truly happy and loved. Get to know what makes you and them tick and start doing things to show much you really care for each other.
Choose your partner every day.
Love isn’t the ever-present, world-shattering thing we see in movies. Real love takes effort and hard work. Your partner won’t always be the person you fell in love with. There’ll be days when you struggle to even remember why you like them. You might get attracted to other people sometimes and vice versa. Whatever happens, you need to keep consciously choosing your partner every day if you plan to be together for a long time.
Ask questions instead rather than making assumptions.
In an ideal world, you’ll be able to read your partner’s mind so you’ll never misunderstand anything they say or do. In this world, you can’t tell what they’re thinking no matter how long you’ve known them. The only way to know what’s going on with them for sure is to just ask. If you’re not sure what they need or are trying to tell you, ask them rather than assuming wrongly. This will save your relationship a lot of headaches and fights.
Put in the work.
Once the honeymoon phase fades, it’s easy to start taking each other for granted, which is one of the reasons many relationships fail. It’s important that you keep doing what’s right by your partner. Talk to your partner about issues instead of bottling it all up. Go on trips with them. Plan date nights that don’t involve you sitting on the couch and watching Netflix. Unpack your baggage. Love is an action and a choice. Do the work every day. Keep on growing and building on what you have.
Forgive your partner for their mistakes.
Even though you think they are and you want them to be, your partner isn’t perfect. They’re not going to do the right things all the time. Sometimes, their actions or decisions will cause a little bit of pain, anger, or frustration. When that happens, find it in your heart to forgive them, especially after they’ve apologized. Don’t keep score and try to get your revenge, or constantly hold their mistakes over their head.
Show appreciation often.
Yes, your partner is obligated to love and care for you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t appreciate them for it. Say thank you when they do something nice for you. Compliment them regularly. Surprise them with flowers and gifts just to show you’re thinking about them. Be thoughtful. You don’t need to go big every time to make a romantic statement, little gestures of love can go a long way.
Build a life for yourself away from your relationships.
Spending time with your partner is a wonderful thing, but you need to give each other space from time to time. It’s not healthy for your entire life to revolve around your partner. Give yourself some space to grow on your own and let them miss you for a bit. Hang out with friends, try some new activities, explore your hobbies. Make sure you’re content and happy by yourself.
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