There’s always that awkward and delicate phase of a relationship where it’s early doors but you’ve run out of things to say. This is the liminal stage in a relationship where it isn’t clear whether the situationship will become something more intimate. You can get stuck in that silence between places, neither person knowing whether to up the intimacy factor or not. As always, your actions represent your thoughts. If you want to step things up, you have to put your money where your mouth is. When you feel the text conversation petering out, here’s how to reignite the passion and develop the relationship even further.
- Send memes. This is easy and low impact. It shows you’re thinking about someone. There’s a lot to be said for someone who sends memes to their crush. It’s effortless and sustainable, and you learn so much about each other here. You can learn about your sense of humor, your boundaries. The things that are important to you. It’s an easy way to stumble through the talking stage without the arduous, boring small talk section. You will bond over silly dogs and ridiculous hot takes on Twitter and it’ll prompt conversation in a much more natural way. It also means that if you’re both having a tough day or a long week, it’s a low-pressure gesture that shows you’re interested in someone without having to plan it in advance or overthink it.
- Try the “good morning” text. This is simple. It is cliched, but in my experience, things are always cliched for a reason: they work. In this case, if you communicate with your partner by text and you find that you want a simple way of showing them that they’re important to you, a good morning text will do just that. It shows that you are committed, even in this small way. That you’re listening to them. The bar is on the floor, yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile to jump through a few hoops for your significant other. A good morning text might seem cheesy but it’s a good sight classier than a ‘u up?’ text at three am. Trust me.
- Keep it basic. No one wants to be the victim of love bombing. That’s where your partner inundates you with too much affection early on in a relationship. Not only is it hard to sustain, but it comes across as fake. You won’t be perceived as being truly invested in the relationship. It just looks like you’re saying empty words that you think your partner wants to hear. Just focus on what they’re actually saying and you can’t go wrong. If it seems too easy to ask what they want, that’s not a trick, it’s just how relationships work!
- Use context. As well as listening to what they’re saying, use your texts to figure out more about their lives and hobbies. You can use that information to ask them about their day and recirculate conversations that they’re interested in. There’s nothing more attractive than watching someone talk about something they’re passionate about. Research those avenues yourself to impress them too.
- Listen. This is easy. Don’t interrupt them. Don’t use their hobbies as a way of talking about yourself. Engage with your partner and their interests and share your own. It’s a two-way street. Make sure you’re not just letting them do all the talking and not sharing any of your own life.
- Tell a joke. Or an interesting fact. It’s quirky and fun, even if you have to google a new one each day. It’ll become a fun tradition and you’ll learn things at the same time. Plus, you will truly feel like you’re learning and growing together. That’s what true equality is in a relationship. Being vulnerable together.
- Talk about your family. Do you feel like you’ve run out of things to say about yourself? Dig deeper. Talk about your friends and family and why they’re so important to you. Your crush will love that. It’ll bring depth and emotional nuance to your text conversation.
- Talk about future goals. Ambition is hot. Remember that. This isn’t the time to pretend you’re lazy and easy-going. If you are driven and confident, that’s a great way to get someone’s attention. Write yourself into their future too. If someone doesn’t like you they won’t talk about anything besides themselves because they’re keeping you at bay.
- Talk secrets. If it’s after midnight and you’re still on the phone, talking about nothing and watching the kitchen lights out the window, you might find yourself spilling a few secrets. Who better to tell than the person you’re interested in? It ups the stakes and adds urgency to the relationship.
Here are a few ways of spicing up your text life without getting too spicy. Who says texting can’t be the basis of a strong relationship foundation?